


all that lies between you and me

by katebishoop



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble Collection, Drinking Games, Drunkenness, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Football | Soccer, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Massage, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Snowball Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 28,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katebishoop/pseuds/katebishoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots using <a href="http://alwaysbellamyblake.tumblr.com/post/111909165950/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you">this list</a>. All canonverse. All written before 3x08.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. come over here and make me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after they rescuse Jasper but before they go out on the hunting mission/seaweed search party. 
> 
> (714 words)

Bellamy knew from history that when you topple the monarchy, the whole empire would fall apart. So, if the Princess was dead, the Ark would definitely reconsider coming down.

He was getting that wristband.

Yesterday he could have dropped her - he could have let her die. Everyone was helping him haul her up though before he had even weighed the choice.

(She didn’t need to be actually dead, after all).

If it weren’t for her hair color, he would have missed her out of the corner of his eye as she slipped from the drop ship and made her way around back.

“I’ll be right back,” he told Miller, who just shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on the wall.

He found her there, behind the drop ship. She was slouched against the metal, her hands combing through her hair. She looked exhausted - coated in blood and smelling like bile.

“Rough day?”

Clarke jumped when he spoke, and upon seeing him, her eyes narrowed.

“What do you want?” Clarke snapped.

Bellamy snorted, “I think you know what I’m here for.”

There’s a flash in her eyes, and she bit down on her lip - and Bellamy’s wondering if she doesn’t get it - but then her wrist shoots up to her chest and she’s holding it with her other hand to her chest.

“I thought I made it clear what it would take to get this off,” Clarke nearly growled.

Bellamy can’t help but give her a smug smile, “Figured you owed me for yesterday, Princess.”

Clarke took a step back from him, “You mean for _not_ letting me die?” she scoffed, then said, “My position on the matter hasn’t changed.”

“One way or another, you’re taking that wristband off.”

It’s Clarke’s turn to snort now, “Come over here and make me.”

In a split second his whole body language shifted, and he sees her register this and so she moved to yank her hand back but he managed to grab onto it. He’s holding it between them, holding it in a vice she can’t get out of.

If looks could kill, they’d both be dead right now.

But Bellamy’s eyes flickered to her lips for a moment - he has no idea _why_ or _how_ \- and Clarke’s do too and he can feel her hot, angry, breath on his face and it’s turning his cheeks red.

Jasper screamed from inside the drop ship and it’s enough of a distraction to get him to loosen his hold just enough for Clarke to yank herself free.

She brushed past him, muttering under her breath as she goes back to her patient.

She stopped, though, but she doesn’t turn around to face him.

“You saved me, sure, let’s give you that,” her voice reached him, “but with each wristband you remove you’re letting someone else die.”

Bellamy’s not sure what to make of her words before she speaks again.

“I don’t think you’re a killer,” her words are like a slap in the face, “or at least, I don’t think you want to be.”

She’s gone back into the drop ship, but he stays there a while. Sitting down, with his back against the wall; gazing up at the trees, listening to Jasper’s screams, and thinking over her words to him.

_“I don’t think you’re a killer.”_

He pulled his gun out of the waistband of his pants. It’s heavy in his hands – much heavier than when he first received it, even with two bullets missing.

The first one was in a wall in Alpha Station - _his hands were shaking, he was_ \- and the second one is deep in the Chancellor’s abdomen.

_“Or at least, I don’t think you want to be.”_

She was right about one thing, at least.

He had thought that princess wouldn’t be knocked down so easily after their encounter, but later he sees her by the fire and her wristband is gone.

She looked up at the sound of his approach and meets his eyes _– is the fire reflecting in hers, or is that naturally there?_ \- and the silent message is loud and clear: _this has nothing to do with you_.

Bellamy gaves her a slight, curt nod before he continued on towards his tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	2. have you lost your damn mind!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Conversation in 2x09 (505 words)

She knew that Bellamy would find her that night, but Clarke didn't know if she wanted that or not. 

“Have you lost your damn _mind_!?” Bellamy says harshly.

(Briefly, she locks eyes with Finn behind him).

(She probably has).

(But she knows that’s not what he’s referring too).

“I volunteered for this- this _was_ my idea. I’m not backing down, but-” Bellamy’s voice cracks and something in Clarke does too. “First, you can’t lose me, too? And now I’m suddenly worth the risk?”

He’s looking at her and Clarke sees a hurricane of emotions: confusion, hurt, betrayal, bewilderment, fear....

And something else that she just can’t quite place.

“Clarke…” Bellamy sounds even more hurt when he softens his voice, “say _something_.”

“I told you,” she can’t meet his eyes, she just can’t, “I was being-”

“Don’t even give me that bullshit again, Clarke,” Bellamy snaps, “ _We are not grounders_. You said so yourself- so what- Clarke _, fuck,_ what _happened_ to you in there?”

Concern, concern for _her_ : that’s the other thing she saw in him.

“Down here every life matters, those were _your_ words. But now that’s weakness? We may be in an alliance with the grounders but we don’t need to _become_ them.” Bellamy shifts in front of her, “Clarke, you’re not heartless.”

Her name is like a bullet shooting off his tongue. She feels it cut deep, but not as deep as those three words: _you’re not heartless_.

Because oh, oh she iss. She needs to be. And she wants to tell him that; to tell him that love was weakness.

Love _is_ weakness.

She can just picture it: the revelation, the words sounding like a prayer - like a plea - off her lips. She can see how his mind works to put the pieces together; the way his eyebrows will stitch together and how the left corner of his mouth will turn down.

And the light that has always been inside him will grow just a little bigger when it all falls into place, and he’ll understand and she _won’t be alone-!_

But she doesn’t say that.

Tears are already forming in her eyes and she prays that none will roll down her cheeks.

(Because once the floodgates open there would be no stopping them).

Her body jerks ever so slightly towards him but clenches her fists, nails digging into her hand to restrain her. His raised eyebrow is expectant.

But she doesn’t say anything.

Her eyes are closed when he leaves; his feet a heavy sound that is moving farther and farther away.

She doesn’t think about when they’ll meet again - _or if._

She doesn’t think about how she wants to regret this (or that she already is).

She doesn’t think about how she may have just lost him forever.

She doesn’t think about how that’s the point.

Clarke opens her eyes and Finn’s there - a premonition, a _definition -_ and she doesn’t know if she’s speaking to this old ghost or the new one.

_“Love is weakness.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm depressing myself out I'm going to try to make the next one at least SLIGHTLY happy, okay?  
> \---  
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	3. please, don't leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Season 2 (507 words)

_The collar is tight around his throat; he’s flat on his chest and the room is getting smaller and smaller around him- he’s crawling down the tunnel trying to find a way out - the fire is gaining up on him but he doesn’t seem to be moving but then he tumbles out and crashes into - Maya and her father and that boy and- and- Cl-_

He feels like he can’t breathe and it’s hot - _it's so hot_  - and he’s trying to get up-

Then there’s hands on his shoulders keep him still and-

_Clarke?_

Her hands are still hovering lightly over his shoulders. Her big blue eyes are staring down at him with such concern and worry.

He’s suddenly very, very aware that he’s not wearing a shirt, but all that embarrassment quickly fades to anger when he fully registers her.

“What are you doing here?” Despite just coming out from sleep, his words are no less harsh than usual.

Clarke visibly recoils at his tone; her hands come away from him and she nervously tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I couldn’t sleep… I was taking a walk and I heard you yelling,” Clarke swallows, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He’s immediately reminded of when they found her, starved and crazed in a cave deep in the woods; drawings of the dead had surrounded her on the walls. There was only one bullet left in her gun.

She had been anything but okay.

And as much as Bellamy would like to think otherwise, she still was.

What he thought was a moment was clearly a drawn-out silence, because Clarke was squirming under his gaze.

“Sorry, I-” She’s getting up to leave, not meeting his eyes. “I’ll just-”

She’s barely two inches off his bed when his hand snaps out and grabs her arm.

The look on her face is just as painful as the nightmare.

(Maybe it’s that glimmer of hope in her eyes. Or, maybe, it’s how quickly it’s extinguished).

“Please,” and his voice breaks, and he’s imagining her like she was in his dream - dead, dead, _dead_ \- and he can’t bear the thought of her exciting that gate - door, he means _door_ \- “don’t leave.”

Clarke gives the faintest of nods (and there are the faintest traces of tears in her eyes).

Bellamy scoots over on the bed, pulling her down with him and tucking her under the blanket. She’s facing him, and they’re holding onto each other like a vice. He buries his face into her hair and murmurs apologies that he’ll repeat again and again in the morning. And so will she.

It was time to stop being stubborn and resentful; it was time to stop pushing her away. That was the opposite of what he had wanted, and it was just hurting both of them. They were going through the same thing, like always. It was better when they were together.

(Or, at least, they could get better).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	4. do you... well... i mean... i could give you a massage?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 1 AU (626 words)

Bellamy was an old man.

He was a good five years older than the second oldest person in their group, but that didn’t make him feel old. No, what made him really feel ancient was throwing out his back while lifting a log that morning.

The sound his back had made when it happened had startled all those around him. _Did someone shoot? Grounders? Are we under attack?_

(The sound of him stretching in an attempt to fix it was even worse).

With the way they all snickered about it, he shouldn’t be surprised that she sought him out.

“I heard what happened,” Clarke said as she entered his tent.

“Come to mock me too?” He tried to stand a little straighter but it only caused him to wince in pain (he did say attempt to fix, now).

Clarke’s brow wrinkled in concern, “You should have come to me as soon as it happened-”

“I’m _fine.”_

“I can see you wincing-”

“Your busy enough as it is, and it’s not like you can get me a new spine or anything.”

He hadn’t realized, until now, how close they had got during their conversation. Even hunched, he was still taller than her; tall enough to still look down at her through her lashes and see the bulge of her bottom lip. They were close enough that he could feel her breath on his chin.

“Do you… well…” Clarke swallows, “I mean… I could give you a massage?”

_Oh?_

“Oh,” he hadn’t meant to say that outloud, and now he was sure he looked like an idiot.

Clarke weaves one arm around him, and tentatively places her hand on his back; she runs her hand across, applying pressure here and there, humming a little.

She drops her hand and looks up at him with narrowed eyes, “Take off your shirt and lay down on the bed.”

So _this_ is what Dr. Clarke looked like.

(He really, _really_ liked Dr. Clarke).

He pulls off his shirt as smoothly as he could manage without cringing. Bellamy felt a little smug smile when he saw Clarke’s eyes rake over his chest.

She shoves his chest lightly with her hand, “Bed. Now.”

“Yes ma’am,” came out as a low growl from deep in his chest before heading to the bed and laying down. He was glad that he had to lie on his stomach. Clarke couldn’t see him blush… among other things that were bound to happen when you have a woman such as Clarke Griffin straddling your thighs and working her hands lower and lower down your back.

“If you had come to me sooner, this wouldn’t be taking as long,” Clarke says as she works at a knot near the base of his spine.

“How’d do you know I didn’t plan this?” His voice is equal parts husky - from the sheer enjoyment of Clarke and her blessed hands - and muffled - from being face down in his makeshift pillow. He presses his face deeper into his pillow then in order to stifle a moan.

“How’s that?” Clarke asks as she shifted back on his thighs.

Bellamy weighs his options carefully, but, in the end he thought he might as well go for it: “I think you should work on my front next.”

Clarke was silent for a moment, and maybe he shouldn't have - uh - _propositioned_ her in such a vulnerable position, but then she leans forward so she's practically laying down on his back to be able to whisper in his ear, “you’re on pelvic rest, don’t want to throw your hip out next.”

Bellamy was once again glad that he was facedown on the bed, because _holy shit_ did she make even insults sound sexy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	5. wait a minute. are you jealous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 1 AU (733 words)

Clarke was not having a good week. Bloody noses, diarrhea, broken toes: these kids could get into anything.

And of course, Finn had to make it worse when he showed up in the dropship and said: “We need to talk.”

Clarke’s forehead bunched up, and she threw down the tools she was cleaning, “Finn, I’ve told you-”

“No,” Finn interrupted her, and oh Clarke wanted to just - “No… not about that.”

The sheepish look, the look of shame on his face, made Clarke calm down just a little.

“What, then?”

Finn took a deep breath: “The guns, and-”

“We’ve been over this,” Clarke rubbed the space between her eyebrows, “It’s insurance, peace may not hold.”

“It shouldn’t be our first option-”

“I don’t want that either-”

“Do you know who you’re arming-?”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Bellamy-”

“These are our _people_ -”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Bellamy!”

“Wait a minute.” Suddenly Clarke knew what this conversation is really about, and she could set him straight, she could shut this whole thing right down. But she’s not going to do that. “Are you jealous?”

Finn goes beet red. Just what Clarke had meant for.

“Is there anything to be jealous of?” Finn asked, incredulous.

"Look," Clarke knew that this conversation would come to bite her in the butt later but right now she didn't care, "I trust him. I trust Bellamy way more than I trust you right now. So that's something."

Clarke made sure to bump into his shoulder on her way out the dropship.

* * *

Clarke also knew that walking into Bellamy's tent (in full view of Finn) later that night might also be a bad idea. 

Maybe a bad idea for different reasons. Because there Bellamy was, leaning on the back of his pallet, sans shirt, sharpening his knife.

"Need something?"

"Yes," Clarke said rather too quickly, "uh, a favor. I need a favor."

Bellamy raised an eyebrow as Clarke sat down on the edge of his pallet, tucking her right leg under her.

Clarke found her mouth inexplicably dry as she said, "I need-"

"Clarke?" Came a voice from outside the tent, getting closer and closer, "Clarke?"

The voice, unmistakably Finn's, coupled with the look on Clarke's face, pretty much filled Bellamy in.

Bellamy yanked back the fur next to him, "Get under here," and at her hesitation, said: "trust me."

_You have no idea._

Clarke laid down and Bellamy threw the covers over her before getting up and sliding under them next to her. Bellamy tucked his arm around her and nuzzled his face into her hair.

"Pretend to be asleep," Bellamy whispered.

Clarke was aware of how warm he felt. Of how his arm felt around her. Of how his hot breath felt against her hair.

“Clarke-?” Clarke could hear the flap of the tent as Finn stormed in- _“Clarke!?_ ”

“Stay asleep,” Bellamy whispered before turning over to look at Finn, “Rude, Spacewalker.”

Clarke could only imagine the look on Finn’s face. Should she be ashamed?

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

No, no she most definitely was not.

“Sleeping, until you barged in here,” Bellamy said sternly, but just quiet enough as “not to wake” Clarke.

“Why don’t you have _a shirt-?”_

“ _Just_ sleeping. And go so you don’t ruin that for her,” Bellamy said next, then: “besides, you really don’t have a right to be concerned over her private life anymore.”

“ _Private_ life-?”

“I’m not going to ask again.”

There was a long pause, and Clarke could only imagine the intense stare down that was going on. She didn’t know how much time had passed before she heard the ruffling of the tent flap.

Bellamy sighed heavily and sank back down onto the pallet with her. Clarke turned onto her other side so that she was face to face – merely inches apart - from Bellamy.

“Thanks for that,” it came out like a whisper, like if Finn were listening at the tent flap.

“Anytime, Princess,” Bellamy yawned, a grin across his face, “now how about we actually get some sleep?”

 _“Is there anything to be jealous of?”_ Finn had said.

Maybe there was. Maybe Clarke wanted there to be? It was hard to think straight, curled into Bellamy.

Clarke turned around so her back was against his chest and nuzzled in. She felt Bellamy’s arm wrap around her middle.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	6. is there a reason you're naked in my bed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During 1x09 (337 words)

Bellamy had told her to go have fun, to loosen up a bit. He hadn’t meant this.

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

Now, he couldn’t actually see Clarke in all her nakedness, but all of - and he meant _all of_ \- her clothes were scattered around his tent.

“Bellamy!” Clarke slurred, confusedly, “This is my bed.”

Bellamy chuckled. He never imagined the Princess to be like _this._  “Uhh…”

Clarke looked around and sat up on her elbows, the blanket slipping a little lower on her chest. “Ooooooh,” she turned to look at him, “well, your bed is the most comfy then.”

“Glad it’s up to your standards,” Bellamy said as he set his gun down on the table. She had a small, pouty frown on her face. “Get some sleep.”

“Where are you going?” She asked when he had began heading for the exit.

“To find some other bed, since you’ve occupied mine.”

“You can sleep here.”

“Clarke-”

He’s cut off though when Clarke grabbed his leg, just below the knee, and yanked him down onto the bed. It isn’t a smooth landing. Bellamy catched his arms on either side of her head, which lessons the blow of his body colliding onto hers.

“Jeez- Clarke-” Bellamy stammered, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Clarke replies, only a little winded. Her arms snaked around his middle, “you’re warm.”

“You should stay,” Clarke said again, before Bellamy had the chance to speak.

Bellamy let out a soft sigh, “whatever the hell you want, Princess.”

He scooted off her so that he was next to her and put his arm around her, tucking the blanket under her so that it wouldn’t shift away.

Clarke seemed to be enjoying herself. All Bellamy could think about was the blanket. Then thin blanket that separated Clarke’s body from him.

It was a mixture of relief and anguish when Clarke finally fell asleep, and Bellamy extracted himself from the bed, from Clarke’s warmth, to go find a different place to sleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	7. i almost lost you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During 1x12 (505 words)

“Open the gate!” Finn shouts as they approached camp.

When Clarke charges through the gate all she sees is a great big blur before arms crash around her.

“Clarke!”

“Jasper-” Clarke rasps.

Thankfully Jasper takes the hint and lets go of her, holding her at arm's length, “We thought you were dead? _How_ -?”

Finn was beside them then. “We need to get out of here right now.”

“Wait why? No-”

“The grounders are coming-”

“Where’s Monty?”

_“What?”_

“We can’t leave yet-”

Clarke notices over Jasper’s shoulder the crowd around the dropship, “Jasper, why are the doors closed?” She looks around, and notices something else off, “Where’s-”

Gunfire rings throughout the air and Clarke’s eyes follow everyone elses to the dropship. She can hear Octavia yelling and Clarke bolts for the doors before they have even opened all the way.

She’s afraid of what she’s going to find.

She wasn’t ready for this.

* * *

“Well, I think the princess is dead.” Murphy says, “And I know the King’s about to die. So who's really going to lead these people, huh? Me. Yeah, that’s who. And maybe I’ll have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister-”

Bellamy moves to kick Murphy but he jumps back to quickly. Murphy yanks of the chain of seatbelts and Bellamy’s throat constricts at the pressure.

“Ah!”

Oh, no.

Both of them look down at the floor, when Bellamy looks up he sees a dangerous glint in his eye.

“I’m guessing that’s her right now.” Murphy says before shooting several rounds into the floor.

He kicks the stool out from under him and there are already spots dancing in his vision.

“Using your hands is a cheat, mine were bound, remember?” Murphy’s hitting him with the butt of the rifle and Bellamy loses his grip.

There’s a ringing in his ears. There’s a constrictor around his throat. He can’t feel his arms. He can’t feel.

There’s blurs of color and grey before his eyes and louder rings that stand out of the general hum.

It’s all black for a moment, then a familiar patch of yellow is in his vision.

_“Well, I think the princess is dead.”_

He must be dead, then.

But he’s gasping, and there’s air filling up his lungs. His vision is still fuzzy he can make out shapes - Octavia, Jasper, Jasper leaving, then -

_Clarke._

Bellamy sits up and Octavia wraps him in a hug, but Bellamy’s eyes never leave Clarke. Because there she is - alive. _She's alive._

When Octavia releases him, he latches onto Clarke’s arm.

She’s looking at him so concerned, her eyes glued to the marks he no doubt has on his neck.

“I almost lost you,” Bellamy breathes out, and for a second Bellamy’s not sure she heard him, but Clarke’s eyes dart up to meet his.

The look on her face is more painful than the hanging was.

“I could say the same about you.”

Bellamy opens his mouth again but an explosion comes out and suddenly - suddenly he’s seeing red.

_“MURPHY!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	8. wanna bet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During 1x09 (498 words)

"You're scowling." Bellamy turned his head to the side to see Miller smirking at him. "You should go over there, c'mon." He jerked his head in the direction that Bellamy had been looking.

"I have a wall to watch."

"You're busy watching something else," Miller said knowingly, but when Bellamy doesn't take the bait he adds, "Bellamy, I got this. I had my fun for the night, you should go have some of yours."

Bellamy sighed and turned his head back to camp. "Thanks Miller, I owe you one."

"It's fine," Miller waved him off, "Sterling's good with a gun, and you killing him isn't going to do us any good against the Grounders."

Bellamy could feel himself blushing. He hadn't meant to stare, let alone scowl, but. How could he just stand there while Sterling, Miller, Fox, and Clarke were playing some drinking game. How could he just stand there while Sterling gave Clarke this dopey, trying-to-be-seductive grin and flirted with her?

Technically, he should be able to. Just stand there, he means. It shouldn't be any of his business, but Clarke really doesn't need to get mixed up with Spacewalker 2.0 or-

"Bellamy!" Clarke smiled brightly when she saw him, "Finally."

Bellamy's stomach did a little backflip at her words. She looked so genuinely happy to see him, and relaxed. And now Sterling's scowling, so that's good too.

Fox handed him a drink, and the taste made him feel almost as warm as Clarke's words had.

Sterling flipped a washer from his nose into a cup and Clarke's excitement goes up ten fold from there. She snatched the cup and washer before Sterling can reset.

"I swear I've done this before." Clarke said as she balanced it.

"I find it a little hard to believe, Princess," Bellamy said and Clarke side eyed him, which looked more endearing than menacing in her current position. "You know, being the Princess and all?"

Clarke doesn't even move, she continued to stand with her head back and a washer on her nose, but her glare has turned more calculating, "Wanna bet?"

Bellamy rolled his shoulders back, he's up for the challenge, "let's see if you can do that ten times."

Clarke doesn't break eye contact, and then she flipped it from her nose straight into the cup like a pro.

And again. And again and again and again. And five more times and she's won.

"I stand corrected." Bellamy finished off her drink for her, "so what do you want? We never did set any terms."

Clarke stepped closer to him, and their chests are almost touching. It's now when he realizes that Sterling and Fox had left them.

Clarke's eyes raked over his body; her small hand fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"Anything I want?" It's nearly a whisper, and it sent shivers down Bellamy's spine.

"Whatever the hell you want."

Clarke set his pulse racing when she takes his hand and pulls him towards his tent. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	9. don't you ever do that again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 3 Speculation (761 words)

When Clarke’s body slams into him again, he is taken back to about four months prior. When she had tackled him completely by surprise, like a ghost coming back to life. She had been found; she was safe. He was stunned, relieved, he couldn’t breathe. His arms had wrapped tight around her, never wanting to let go out of fear that she’d disappear again.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her now, too, but it was impossible with the chains that bound his hands to the wall.

“Bellamy-”

“Clarke, we must hurry.” Someone says from the doorway. Bellamy couldn’t tell exactly with the dim light, or with one eye, as his other was swollen shut.

Clarke began to undo his bounds, “I’m _hurrying,_ Lexa.”

_Lexa?_

Clarke got the last chain off him and his weight slumped onto her shoulder, “It’s okay, I got you.” She reassured him.

Bellamy could vaguely register Lexa, with a handful of her entourage when they got out of the cell just before he blacked out.

* * *

When he first wakes up, with Clarke’s face surrounded by a curtain of blonde hair hovering over him, he thinks he's dead.

But then all the pain he felt from the torture came back and no, Bellamy was very much alive.

Clarke had been cleaning a wound on his forehead, and her eyes lit up, “You’re awake,” and when Bellamy tried to sit up, she firmly presses him back down, “and you’re not going anywhere. Seriously, what were you thinking?”

“How’d you know where I was?” Bellamy’s voice came out all scratchy.

Clarke gets the hint, and brings a glass of water to his lips, “you weren’t the only spy on the inside.”

“Lexa,” Bellamy realizes. He wasn’t surprised about her having a spy, but he was genuinely surprised that she even let his rescue mission happen.

He looks to Clarke, for confirmation, even if he knows the answer. But Clarke’s eyes are cold here, a bit distant. A pang hits Bellamy’s heart, because he used to be able to read her like a book, but now. Now he couldn’t see past the reflection of the forest in her eyes.

“Clarke, what is it?” Bellamy props himself up on his sore elbows, but her eyes flash, and Bellamy can see a bit of tears.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” She snarls and a single tear escapes down her cheek. She elaborates at his confused expression, “You keep going undercover - you’re putting yourself in the hands of the enemy Bellamy! This is the second time this you’ve done this and you were tortured again! Do you have a _death wish_?” The forest in her eyes is flooded now. “There are people that care about you - _I_ care about you-”

Bellamy places his hand on her’s and she grasps it with her other, sandwiching his hand between hers.

Bellamy thinks back to when he first found her again, and he was the one rescuing her. When they had parted again, he never would have expected this to be her reaction upon seeing him again. He didn’t exactly picture getting captured and tortured again, either though.

“Clarke.” He says, “I do what I have to do. I have to make sure that they aren’t going to come after us, after _you_ -”

 _“No,”_ Clarke’s eyes are dangerous, “you almost _died_ , Bellamy. And you are _not_ allowed to die for me.”

_He’d do anything to protect her._

“How can I live with your blood on my hands?” Clarke goes on, “I can’t do this without you. If you die, I’ll go out of my goddamned mind.”

_It just makes sense._

“Just stop throwing yourself on the sword-”

“What about you?” Bellamy asks sharply, and it takes Clarke aback. “I can’t do this without you, either. But you left and I had no idea if you were dead or alive. And now I know you’re alive, and I will do anything to keep it that way.”

She’s quiet.

“You can’t ask me to just step aside.” Bellamy winces a little as he reaches his other hand over to cover the top one of Clarke’s. “If you die, what do I do? It goes both ways, Clarke.”

When she speaks again, her voice is small, but no less hard, “I won’t have anybody else die for me.”

“Then let’s stop putting ourselves in life threatening situations, huh?”

The smile Clarke gives him is small, and sad, and doesn’t reach her eyes. Because she knows as well as he does that that’ll never happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda similar to [this other thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5580265) I wrote (towards the end of it, at least) you should go check it out wink wink
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	10. teach me how to play?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Series + Established Relationship + Soccer (739 words)

For a while Bellamy never thought there’d be peace. But they have do it, for now. Their settlement is more like a city, no one is going hungry, or has died in a while, and for once in all their people’s lives, they are able to make mistakes without the fear of execution.

And, Clarke’s home.

Bellamy’s sitting on the porch to their cabin - officially his, but Clarke’s always there beside him when he falls asleep, and always there when he wakes up - watching Clarke as she played Soccer with a group of children.

Clarke’s hair was much shorter now, short enough that she could only tie the top part off in a ponytail. Her hair was actually shorter than Bellamy’s at this point - his hair brushing his shoulders. He’d ask Clarke to cut his hair later that night.

One of the younger girls scored a goal, and Clarke cheered, scooping the girl up and spinning her around. When she set the girl down, she finally noticed Bellamy watching and gave him a big, bright, beckoning smile.

Bellamy got off the stoop and headed towards her, and her smile only got bigger - and so did the children’s excitement - as he approached.

“Teach me how to play?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke smirked at him, then looked down at the group of kids bouncing around their legs, “do you guys think he’s got what it takes?”

There was a shouting, mostly variations of _yeah!_ and _yes!_ and _I want bellamy on my team!_ but also a _nooooo!_ in a mock deep voice. Bellamy snorted at that.

“Jonas, Bellamy’s on your team. Show him the ropes,” Clarke said to the oldest looking boy, of around ten, and then to Bellamy, “see if you can keep up, old man.”

After Jonas stressed to him that it was _no hands_ , like, seven times - Bellamy had the feeling that this kid had been the sole “no” - they got into it.

Just like Clarke, he made sure that the kids were the ones really playing, always passing the ball to one of them whenever it came there way, never taking a shot at a goal. So Bellamy, maybe about ten minutes in, his sole purpose in the game was to block Clarke.

It was fairly easy, since after all, he was used to using himself as a shield to protect her. Now, he was just doing the same thing, this time keeping her back.

Clarke’s angry from behind him as he hops around on his feet in front of her, effectively keeping her back. He turns his body just enough to face her, giving her a wicked grin that has her scrunching her eyebrows together that Bellamy found cute, always to Clarke’s dismay. “Bellamy, I swear if you don’t-”

The girl who scored the goal came brushing past them, kicking the ball, and with Bellamy’s leg’s already twisted, he lost his balance, tumbling to the ground, pulling Clarke down on top of him.

They were breathing heavily, faces inches apart. Bellamy felt a little pain from where a small rock was down under his back.

“This is all your fault,” Clarke said, her eyebrows doing that thing again and Bellamy couldn’t resist surging up to kiss her. She kissed him back, but when he weaved a hand into her hair, she pulled away. “No hands, remember?”

Bellamy cocked an eyebrow before wrapping his legs around Clarke’s waist. Her eyes widened when she realized what he was doing, but it was too late. He flipped them over, scooting his legs out from under her and pinning her to the ground, arms on either side of her head. He kissed her again, deeper this time, and she responded with equal urgency.

The kids were shrieking around them: _gross_ and _ewwww_ and _what are they doing?_

Bellamy pulled back, but he made no move to get off her, despite the light shoves he was getting from children on his back. “You want to go back inside for a little one on one?”

Clarke laughed, bringing the back of her hand to cover her mouth, “My team's two goals away from winning, there’s no way I’m backing down now.”

Bellamy chuckled, pulling himself off her and extending a hand to help her up. She didn’t let go of his hand, and here, with her, surrounded by children, it finally felt like peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple are fluffy to balance out the huge amount of angst I've been dying in recently.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	11. don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2 AU + Snowball Fights (573 words)

Not even the war they had had with the Ice Nation could ruin their first snow on the ground.

It was late into January when they woke up to white grass. It was nothing more than frost; the dew frozen by the cold temperature. They still got excited though. It was a few weeks later, in mid-February, when the first snow began to fall.

Clarke was in the middle of a surgery when that happened, sparing one glance and seeing running and joy and she was almost memorized in the white swirls before she caught herself, and turned back to getting this appendix out of her patient.

It was several hours later when she emerged from the Ark, and even though it had stopped snowing, a thick layer of white was draped over the camp.

She wandered a bit, feeling out how heavy her feet felt as she trudged along. She hadn’t realized she was headed to her cabin until it was in sight. Her mind may not know it, but her body sure knew that she was exhausted.

She was going for one last look at the people playing when she heard the muffled sound of someone coming up from behind her.

“You can’t seriously be turning in yet, can you?” It was Bellamy. Clarke looked up at him, her eyes focused on the uptick of his smile, on the bits of snow flaked in his hair that she wanted to run her hand through and shake out.

“I’ve been in the med bay, wrist deep in Rey’s abdomen for six hours.” Clarke said, feeling more sluggish as she said it, “I feel like I’m about to drop.”

“But it’s our first snowfall, Clarke,” Bellamy said with genuinely, uplifting, heartwarming excitement, then, a bit wickedly, “and besides, I thought you knew how to have fun?”

“I do just not…” Clarke’s eyes caught sight of a motion in his hand, and she took a step back, and he was laughing, “Bellamy, I’m serious-”

“Just play for a little while-”

“Don’t you _dare_ throw that snowba-,” She said, but it was too late, it was coming towards her, hitting her smack dab in the chest, the cold slipping down her shirt, _“goddammit!”_

Bellamy was laughing, head thrown back. When he noticed her shivering already, his eyes quickly darted to her chest then back up to her face. “Do you need help warming up?”

Clarke was glad that her flush from his comment, from the way he licked her lips, was easily hidden under her flush from the cold.

“No,” Clarke said leaning down, giving Bellamy a view of her cleavage, the perfect distraction for gathering snow up into her hand, “what I need, is revenge.”

Bellamy’s eyes darted up to her’s and then to her hand, but Clarke was quicker, landing one right in his face before he could get his arms up.

Bellamy got his bearings and charged her - suddenly, she regrets not just heading into her cabin, for his offer or not  - because she’s now thrown over his shoulder being spun around.

“Put me down!” She shouted indignantly as she pounded her fists onto his back.

Bellamy held onto the back of her legs a little tighter, “we’re not done having fun yet!”

Clarke sighed, exasperated, and over dramatic, her fists hanging down. And she could just imagine the smug smirk on Bellamy’s face now, when he realized that he’d won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	12. i think we need to talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Series + Established relationship (707 words)

“I think we need to talk.” Clarke was nervous just saying those words, and the slight look of panic on Bellamy’s face only worsened it.

“Yeah?” Bellamy’s voice was a little dry. Clarke sighed and took his hand, before leading him to their bed and sitting down on the edge of it.

Clarke didn’t let go of Bellamy’s hand, just held it palm up in her lap, stroking it absentmindedly.

She shouldn’t be this nervous about this? There was no doubt in her mind that Bellamy would be thrilled, but. But this was such a huge step, a huge first step in something beyond permanent, beyond _them_ even. Clarke thought she was ready. She wanted to be ready, for Bellamy’s sake. But could she do this - ? How can she-”

“Clarke,” Bellamy said as he brought a hand up to turn her face from where she’d been spacing out to face him, “Clarke, you’re scaring me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?””

Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _One, two, three:_ inhale. _One, two, three:_ exhale.

“I’ve been talking with my mother.” That made Bellamy go stiff, but he didn’t make any move to interrupt her, just gave her a look that meant _keep going_. And Clarke took that bit of silent encouragement and used it full throttle, because suddenly it was all pouring out of her. “She said my implant is set to expire soon and that they do have a few more and she could replace it for another five years but I’ve been thinking and I don’t want to replace it-”

Clarke could tell the exact moment when Bellamy realized what she was saying despite her haste, the gears in his mind turning.

“-I’m not sure if I’m ready for a child or anything but maybe not a definite no for another five years,” Clarke continued rushed, “but I don’t know if I can handle bringing another person into this world the responsibility I just want if they end up like me I don’t know-”

“Hey, Clarke, shh,” Bellamy placed both of his hands on her cheeks to steady her, to calm her, “You… you want to have a baby... with me?”

For a while, Clarke thought children weren’t in the cards for her. She’d been in solitary, waiting to be floated at age eighteen. Then there were the wars, and what she had done in them, and would she deserve to have children after that? Would she ruin them too, just like anything else she ever touched?

She thought she had ruined Bellamy, too, but he had stuck it out. He refused to leave her side, to make her feel anything less than good. She got him, he got her. Clarke thought that’d be enough, and it was enough.

But she realized that _may_ not be enough for him.

She saw the way he interacted with all the children, with his nephew especially. He was always so happy, so fatherly… and sometimes he would look at her when he was with the children, and it did funny things to her heart.

Bellamy wanted to be a father, she could tell. Clarke also knew that Bellamy would never say that; he'd never pressure her, he'd be able to live without that, instead being the cool uncle. And, besides, Clarke didn’t know if she was ready to be a mother, if she would be a good mother. But Bellamy was _her’s_. If he wanted children, then, when Clarke was ready, she would give them to him.

Because if she ever got over this inner turmoil, there is no one else she could imagine doing that with.

“Yes,” Clarke breathed, and Bellamy’s face lit up, “but, I, not right away or anything, but the possibility would be there. I just - I don’t know if I-”

“Clarke,” Bellamy said urgently, stroking her cheek. He was still smiling, he couldn’t help it, it took over his entire face. “You’re going to be a great mother one day, okay? We can do this, together. Whenever you’re ready, okay? Together.”

Clarke’s eyes were watering up a little, but she was smiling, one not as bright as Bellamy’s but it would be, one day.

“Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get ten more posted during Janurary because I'm on campus early for a special class and have tons of free time but I think I'm going to end up posting way more than ten. I'm hoping to get to get at least half way through this project by the end of the month!
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	13. kiss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set between 1x10 and 1x11 (503 words)

“You have a shadow.”

Clarke scowls. Not at him, but at the reminder that Spacewalker has been following her around like a lost puppy since Raven finally dumped him.

Finn’s watching them with narrowed eyes from across the campyard. Bellamy shifts a bit closer to Clarke, just to make him more annoyed. This whole game of his was seriously getting old. He and Clarke always had to cut meetings short because of Finn’s interruptions and whining and nagging and Finn-ness.

“He-” Clarke shakes her head, “he doesn’t understand the meaning of the word ‘no.’ I don’t know how many times I’ve told him.”

Bellamy arched an eyebrow, and gave a small sigh. “You’re going to have tell him again.”

Clarke’s groans, but she doesn't turn her head. “He’s seriously coming over here? Now? I swear I’m going to-”

“Kiss me.”

Clarke’s eyes went wide, and Bellamy was honestly just as surprised at his words too.

He didn’t mean to freak her out, or make her think that another guy didn’t know boundaries. “Clarke-”

But she grabbed his face and pulled his lips down to meet her’s. Bellamy didn’t need to be told twice.

He snaked an around around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Her hands were tangled into his hair, and she opens her mouth for him-

“Hey!” Bellamy’s being pulled away, Finn’s hands shoving at his chest. “Get off her!”

“Finn!” Clarke hisses, pulling him back. “Don’t. Touch. Him.”

“You shouldn’t trust him!” Finn is all up in Clarke’s face now, “You shouldn’t give yourself-”

Clarke laughs a harsh laugh, “You’re opinion doesn’t matter. We’ve been done. I’ve moved on. You should too.”

Bellamy can’t help but smirk, and when Finn sees his face gets all red and angry, but he storms away. Finally.

Clarke sighs and rubs her hand over her face, and Bellamy can’t help but notice that her hand lingers over her lips before it falls to her side.

“Bellamy-”

“Happy to be of service,” Bellamy says, before turning to go. That was one hell of a kiss, and he honestly hadn’t been thinking when he blurted that out, he just wanted to get Spacewalker riled up.

“ _Bellamy-_ wait,” Clarke grabs onto his wrist to keep him there. “I didn’t kiss you because you told me too.”

Bellamy chuckles, “Sure, it was your brilliant plan. I got it.”

“I kissed you because I wanted to.”

Bellamy goes still, and he can’t help but lick his lips. “Really.” It’s not a question. Just a statement, a hook that maybe she’ll pull on.

She pulls him down by his arm so that his ear is level to her lips. Her breath hot on the back of his neck, her lips just grazing his ear, for a moment. “And I’d like to do it again, later.”

Bellamy’s ears go red, and before he can say fuck later and kiss her, she’s off towards the dropship, a little spring in her step that Bellamy can’t help but smile at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another promo came out today and never am!!! I!! ready!!!! I'm going to die if they keep doing this before the 21st I swear.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	14. hey, i'm with you, okay? always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2 AU (929 words)

Clarke looked uncomfortable, nervous, scared even. He wanted to just take her hand and run, get away from this place. Clarke didn’t need this. She doesn’t need the Commander fucking with her head again.

But, when you’re summoned by an armed escort, well. They didn’t really have so much as a choice.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Clarke is buzzing with anxiety right now, “I don’t know if I can face her. I don’t know what I’ll do if I see her.”

Kiss her? Kill her? Insult her so much that it starts another war?

Bellamy knows which one he’d do.

“Clarke,” Bellamy placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her, “hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.” She cracks a small smile, but it is still a nervous one. “I’ll be right by your side, I’ve got your back.”

Clarke let out a long breath, “Bellamy-”

They both turned to look at the tent door when someone wooshed in. He didn’t know the Grounder’s name, but he recognized him as the leader of the group that basically abducted them both.

“The Heda requires your presence.” He’s looking at Clarke. “Just you.”

Clarke’s face goes hard, and she makes no move towards the exit. “He comes, or I don’t.”

If he was the guy, he’d listen to Clarke. Even in stress, Clarke sounds like a leader, like a force to be reckoned with. Bellamy’s glad they are on the same side.

The Grounder eyes him now, then looks back to Clarke. “This way.” He says before exiting the tent.

Bellamy assumes that means he’s allowed to come. He wonders if Lexa had been expecting this, and told her guard to let him through if Clarke wanted it.

He reaches over and takes her hand; she squeezes it like she never wants to let go. He has her back, she has his. Together.

He gives her a nod, and she doesn’t let go of his hand until they are out of the tent.

* * *

Lexa's doesn't look surprised that he's there, but she does look annoyed.

"Clarke." Bellamy can't discern the look in Lexa's eyes. He doesn't know her like Clarke does, or did, rather. "I'm glad to see you are well."

Bellamy can't keep back a scoff. But Clarke doesn't look at him, just glares at Lexa.

"You abducted us during a truce," Clarke said coldly, "This could be seen as an act of war."

Lexa goes to speak, but Clarke hold up her hand to silence her.

"I don't want war. You don't want that either. So I suggest you let us go before our people come looking for us."

"You are here as guests, the armed escort was for your protection." Lexa sounds like she's reading from a script, _how to deny that I am in the wrong_. "I urgently needed to speak with _you_."

"I can see why you abducted us then, because if you sent a messenger there's no way I would have come."

"Clarke-"

But Clarke goes off. She's calm, cool, collected. She's ripping Lexa a new one without letting her anger lash out unprofessionally. Bellamy feels a little surge of pride.

"May I speak to you, privately?" Lexa said quickly so she could get the words out. Bellamy lost track of the conversation while he was lost in his admiration of Clarke, but he has a feeling it has to do with him, since Lexa's glaring at him.

"Bellamy and I are a package deal, take it or leave it." 

He's internally pumping his fist; is that inappropriate? No, it's internal, it's cool.

Lexa sighs, then says something in he doesn't understand, and the guards - all of them - leave.

It's tense for a moment but, finally Lexa's speaks.

"I was right," It's a statement that Bellamy doesn't quite understand, "wasn't I?"

"Yeah, you were," Clarke steps forward, in front of him, "So, let me be perfectly clear. If anything happens to him - anything at all - I will hold you personally responsible. If he's gone, I'm gone. And if he's gone, I will take you to war, and I _will_ win."

Lexa sighs, "You are free to go." Clarke doesn't even hesitate before taking his hand and pulling him towards the exit, but Lexa speaks again, and she stops, "If Queen Nia finds out about your feelings, she will be the one you'll have to worry about."

"You better hope she doesn't find out then," Clarke's voice is dangerous, and then they are gone.

* * *

"What was that about?" Bellamy asks when they are a few miles from Lexa's camp. His head is still spinning, trying to make heads or tails of that exchange, "What was she right about?"

Clarke pauses. She tilts her head up at him, but doesn't quite meet his eyes. "That I care about you, more."

Bellamy's heart skips a beat. She could just mean cares the most, but not that way, but-

"But do you know what she was wrong about?" Clarke gives a small laugh, "that love is weakness. It's not, she got me believing that for a while. But it's not Bellamy it's-" Clarke clamps her mouth shut. He can see her eyes are a bit glassy. "It's strength, Bellamy. You're my strength."

Bellamy blinks. A moment passes - and then he's kissing her. And when her mouth works against his, he pours everything he wants to say into it. That he _will_ say.

_I need you. I care about you. I'm with you. Always. You're my strength, too._

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I published a new one-shot called [if you can erase it then i can atone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5707561) and that was originally this chapter, but it got kind of long so I posted it on its own and wrote a new one for this prompt. (and then it was only as long as that first section, which is really short, so I just went with it??)
> 
>  
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	15. so, i found this waterfall...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 1 AU (519 words)

“So, I found this waterfall…” Bellamy was scratching the back of his head, “do you want to go check it out? I thought I saw some plants that might be useful.”

That should have been Clarke’s first clue: Bellamy doesn’t know anything about plants.

But, Clarke still went with him. It was about a two hour hike to the waterfall but, wow, it was beautiful.

Clarke didn’t know how long she’d been there, just gaping at it, when Bellamy smirked and leaned towards her. “We haven’t even got to the best part, yet.”

Clarke felt a little blush creep up in her cheeks as he grabbed her hand and led her in the direction of the waterfall. As the got closer, she could see the ledge that was next to it near the bottom, that was just wide enough for a person and slipped behind the falls.

He looks back at her and smiles. “You may get a little wet.”

Clarke is so, so glad that he has already turned around, because that small blush got a whole lot bigger. She mentally scolded herself for even thinking about his words in any other way.

And he was right, she got a light drizzle of water from the back of the falls as Bellamy pulled her into the cave behind and -

Wow.

She tries to take it all  in as she steps further into the cave. It’s walls are lined with purple crystals, that glowed in the low light. It reminded her a bit of the butterfly field, but the way the light came in through the waterfall and danced around the cave…

It was just beautiful.

She looked up at Bellamy, and found that he was looking at her too. The light made him look otherworldly, the purple and the ripples dancing off his freckled skin and reflecting in his eyes…

He squeezed her hand. She hadn’t even realized that he was still holding it.

“Bellamy…” She was in complete awe over this, “thank you for showing me this, it’s…”

Bellamy leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, and Clarke wasn’t at all surprised that she kissed him back.

His free hand came up to cup her cheek, and she pressed her body closer to his. She wanted to get lost in the kiss, in his mouth, in him, but she just couldn’t stop smiling. Eventually, she had to pull away, smiling and laughing and little breathless.

“There are no ‘useful plants’ are there?” She laughed.

In this light, she couldn’t tell if he was blushing or not. “That’s for you to figure out,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I was trying to be romantic.”

“You usually don’t put in this much effort.” It wasn’t with malice, or jealousy of the other girls he’s had in and out of the tent. She was fishing, hoping for a response that would settle the nervous flutter in her chest.

“Yeah, well, you’re worth it, so-”

Clarke tugged him by the shirt to bring his lips back down to hers. He said just want she’d been hoping for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in the mood to write something that would give me cavities. 
> 
>  
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	16. it could be worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2 AU, Clarke never left.

Bellamy knew it was only a matter of time before Clarke had found him.

He hadn’t been avoiding her. He was just bus getting this new extension of the wall up. They had had some setbacks, and he had to work a double shift in order to get it closed up by nightfall.

He had skipped dinner, and he wasn’t at their group’s use fire, but she still managed to find him. She could find him anywhere.

She came up to him like a storm headed this way, knocking anything and everything out of its path to reach him.

“Show me.” She said, her voice hard.

Bellamy sighed. He shrugged off his jacket and pushed up his blood soaked sleeve. Their setbacks and mainly consisted of one of the younger workers losing their grip and a piece falling down onto Bellamy. He had insisted that he was fine, it was just a scratch, and that they needed to keep working. Miller had let it drop then, but he probably just let Clarke know a few minutes ago.

Bellamy inhaled sharply as Clarke touched the area around his wound. One long, jagged cut down his bicep, still bleeding a little bit.

“Bellamy, you should have come to me sooner. This could get infected."

“Doused it with moonshine earlier, it’ll be fine.” Clarke opened her mouth to retaliate, but Bellamy pushed on through, “Seriously, I’m fine. It could be worse. I’ll deal with it.”

“ _It could be worse,_ " Clarke repeats angrily under her breath, "Bellamy this needs stitches.” Clarke’s hand is clutching his wrist tightly to keep him there. “And if it gets infected you’d lose most of that muscle, maybe even your whole arm.”

Bellamy looked away. He knew it wasn’t just a scratch, or even a simple cut, but.

“Bellamy, please,” Clarke’s looking at him softly now, concerned, “let me take care of this.”

Bellamy swallows, “Can we do it outside?” His voice is quiet.

He doesn’t want to tell her, to worry her with his nightmares when she’s got enough of her own. She doesn’t need to feel any more guilty than he knows she already does for sending him into the mountain. She doesn’t need to know yet that medical brings back memories of the decontamination. That needles and I-Vs remind him of being strung up like a sack of meat.

Clarke gives him a look, but she nods. She suspects something, and when Clarke’s suspicious there’s no doubt she’ll get to the bottom of it. But Bellamy wants to put that off as far as possible.

Now though, he’ll let Clarke take care of him, help him heal. Help him heal until in ways he doesn’t want her to know about yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	17. looks like we'll be trapped for a while...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During "Day Trip"

Bellamy groaned and slammed the door of the bunker back tightly to block out the storm. So much for fresh air.

He made a lot of noise to announce his presence so Clarke wouldn’t shoot him through the curtain. She was inspecting the rifle as it pointed towards the ground, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Back so soon?”

“There’s a killer storm out there,” Bellamy huffed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

Clarke regarded him a moment and then leaned her rifle against the wall, “Well, it’s a good thing you packed all those extra rations then.”

* * *

If Bellamy hadn’t been feeling weird, he would have probably noticed that Clarke was.

He would have noticed talked to herself - no, talking to someone that wasn’t there. He would have noticed her hug the air and lean her head on an invisible shoulder.

He did notice, however, when she pointed the barrel of a gun at her face.

“Clarke!” He rushed over on stumbled feet and knocked the gun out of her hand.

She looked at him confused, like why would you do that, she looked honestly hurt, and that confounded him. She opened her mouth to speak but it wasn’t her’s that he heard.

“Bellamy Blake.”

Bellamy spun around, and there was Jaha. How was Jaha here? He was on the Ark. He was supposed to be on the Ark.

And then there’s the blood. And the bodies. The dead coming towards him and he's shouting and _they_ are shouting at him  _ murderer, murderer, MURDERER- _

“Kill me!  _ Kill me! _ ”

And then a body falls on him, pushing him from his knees onto the ground. His head hurts from the fall, and the first thing he notices is that all the people are gone. Then, he notices Clarke next to him, pulling herself up to lean against the wall.

She’s breathing heavily, but she manages to choke out, “I don’t think we should have anymore of those nuts.”

Bellamy looks at her incredulously. She’s giving him this weak smile, this _look_ , her eyes whispering:  _ you can trust me _ .  

He thinks about what just happened; about how they both had wanted to die.

He tells her everything.

And yet, she forgives him. 

The weight's not gone, but she's holding a weight of her own, similar to his: the death of parent, the guilt, demons she doesn't want to face, responsibilty and leadership, the lives of ninety-odd teenagers in their hands.

It's enough to know that he's not alone; that there's someone out there who is willing to listen to him, to forgive, to absolve him.

And so, he stays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	18. this is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. of course i’m in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2

He and Clarke were never meant to be caged. Keeping them and the rest of the remaining hundred locked within the gates of Camp Jaha just proves what Bellamy had said when they first landed. They would never be more that criminals, than prisoners, in the eyes of the Ark.

Clarke hadn’t wanted to believe him, and she had even changed his mind at one point but then, well. 

She finds him in the kitchens teaching some adults to skin deer. She gives no greeting, just grabs onto his arm and drags him off, out of the Ark, and far enough away from prying ears and she starts talking.

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had.” Bellamy says when she finishes, “Of course I’m in.”

“Spread the word.” Clarke says, “We leave tonight. I’ll talk to Raven.”

* * *

The remaining hundred have just made it through the tree line when the alarm sounds.

“Now, we run?” Bellamy asks, they’ve got thirty or so pairs of eyes on them.

She nods. “Split up, but don’t go anywhere alone.” 

And then they’re off. 

Bellamy never leads Clarke side as they run, slower than everyone else to make sure that there aren’t any stragglers.

“We a distraction,” Clarke says. They can see the flashlights getting closer in the dark. 

Bellamy pulls out the gun he nicked from the armory. “You ready?”

Clarke takes his hand, and with the other, Bellamy fires a few rounds off into the air. 

All the lights turn towards them.

“This is - without a doubt-” Clarke says between heavy breaths as they run, “the  _ stupidest  _ plan-!”

Bellamy can’t help but laugh as she echoes his words from before. 

They were running for their lives again - for their freedom, and that of a couple dozen others. But this time he wasn't dreaded what they were running towards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	19. the paint's supposed to go where?

“The paint’s supposed to go  _ where _ ?” Bellamy asked Lincoln incredulously.

Lincoln sighed. “You get to apply it yourself, at least.”

Bellamy groaned.

He was not on board with these Grounder traditions. 

“You volunteered for this.” Lincoln reminded him, “You can always back out.”

“I’m not backing out,” Bellamy snapped. Lincoln knew very well why, “I’m not letting her sacrifice herself again.”

When an alliance was offered, the Ark was ready to jump at the chance. That was, until they found out exactly what that meant.

But there was still one person willing to jump.

“We both know that is not the only reason.” Lincoln said, “You must hurry, it is almost sundown.”

Bellamy set to work.

* * *

It was Summer so the nights were warm, and therefore, less clothes had to be worn.

Bellamy’s ceremonial attire consisted of some kilt thing that just wouldn’t stay up on his hips.

And body paint in lieu of a shirt.

But despite all the uncomfortableness he felt, it went away the minute he saw her.

Clarke had been put in a doe skin dress, with large cut outs on the side and hang low across her chest. She also had body paint on, and Bellamy was mesmerized by the dark designs that were across her skin.

Traditional Trikru wedding garb.

A marriage was required for an alliance, and they wanted Clarke. The Wanheda, the ultimate bargaining chip. Clarke had been ready to give herself up if it meant peace, but like Bellamy told Lincoln earlier, he wasn’t going to let her sacrifice herself again. She wasn’t going anywhere he couldn’t follow.

They were in this, together. 

So when they went to the Commander with their response, Bellamy made sure he had been the one to speak first.

“We cannot accept the conditions of your alliance,” Bellamy said, and he knew Clarke could tell what he was about to do. She made no move to stop him, and he took that as all the confirmation he needed. “Clarke is already spoken for.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at him, and when Clarke reached over and squeezed his hands, her eyes shifted to Clarke, and she spoke coolly, “Seems I was right, after all.”

Bellamy’s ears had perked up at that, and he desperately had wanted to ask Clarke what Lexa had meant, but.

Lexa had decided that, as new terms of the alliance, Clarke and Bellamy would have a traditional Trikru wedding to show that they value the Trikru culture.

So now, Clarke Griffin was his wife.

After the ceremony, they both had been swept away in dances and mingling and drinking that Bellamy barely got a glimpse at her. But they had finally been ushered into a tent at the edge of camp, and he could really look at her.

The body paint was a little smeared from the heat of the fire and sweat, but it was still mesmerizing. She was still beautiful, always, but she was his wife. Even though they hadn't talked about it really - was it just to free her from marrying a stranger, or...?

“You know,” Clarke said, looking him up and down, “you could have just asked me out, but instead you go straight for marriage. You work fast.”

Bellamy felt a blush creep up on his cheeks, then he fully caught the meaning of her words, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” and then she was pressed up against him, his paint getting all over her dress, her lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	20. you need to wake up because i can’t do this without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate reunion in 2x05

When they got back to Camp Jaha, the first thing he did was send Monroe and Mel to medical. The second thing he did was remind himself not to lose hope.

They saved Mel, but they lost Sterling. And now Finn and Murphy were out there somewhere with two automatic rifles.

And Clarke and the others were nowhere to be found.

“Blakes!” Bellamy and Octavia turn to find Raven limping towards them, she’s about to shout something else when she notices. “Where’s Finn?”

“With Murphy, still looking.” Octavia tells her.

Raven swallows, “Clarke’s here.”

Everything stops.

“What.” He thinks the word came out of his mouth, but he’s not entirely sure with the way everything is tunneling around him.

“Last night,” Raven shakes her head, “They spotted someone by the treeline, they thought it was a grounder - they shot her-”

Bellamy bolts off for medical before she can finish.  _ Clarke’s here they shot her they shot her Clarke’s here  _

She’s unconscious on the table with a pillow under her head. There’s tons of cuts on her face and there’s one across her nose and - there’s a bandage on her shoulder and oh god-

“She should be fine.” He didn’t even notice Abby at first, everything in his body had been trained on Clarke, but there she was, hovering over her daughter on the other side, “She needs to rest.”

Bellamy wants to believe her, because Clarke is here she’s alive. 

* * *

It’s been two days and Clarke hasn’t woken up.

The only time he had left her was when Murphy had come walking into camp. Without Finn.

“Clarke.” He spoke to her, sometimes, when he was alone with her. It was late, maybe one in the morning. His head was spinning:  _ Murphy, Finn, TonDC, crazy, eighteen, I had to stop- _ “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

His voice broke a little towards the end. It was cruel, how she was right in front of him but not really there at all. How can the world be so cruel as to thrown it in his face?

He reached over and grasped her hand, his fingers grazing her wrist, her pulse fluttering under his fingertips.

“Please, wake up.”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.

* * *

When he wakes up to someone jerking on his shoulder and he immediately snaps awake, ready to-

But then he sees those two eyes - those two, blue, awake, open eyes - and he throws himself forward to crush her into him with a firm embrace.

The angles awkward, but he doesn’t care.  _ She’s awake she’s awake she’s awake _ .

“You’re alive.” Clarke’s voice is strained, and he thinks he can feel some of her tears on his neck. “ _ you’re alive _ .”

Bellamy can’t help but let out of low laugh. She was just as amazed as he was, that they were both alive, that they were together again.

For a moment, Bellamy could forget about the war that was brewing around them, about what was to come, about what they needed to do.

Right now it was just Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These have been getting shorter and shorter lately, but I'm going to try and correct that with the next chapters.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	21. we’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 3 Reunion, Bellamy finds Clarke  
> Written before 3x02  
> but still, possible spoilers?

He hand been in this position before. Leaning against a tree, with her beside him, a body before them. They both had blood on their hands, their faces. 

Last time they were like this, she had asked him to stay:  _ I need you _ . He had tried that once, and she had left.

But maybe this time, with months between them, her answer would be different. 

He hadn’t recognized her at first. He needed to find her, and the others were slowing him down so he went off on his own. He came across two grounders fighting by the river: one large man who had the upper hand, and one smaller girl with red hair. Red hair that went away as soon as the man threw her into the water. 

_ Clarke _ .

“Are you ready to come home yet?” He had to get the words out. He couldn’t just sit there and wait. If she wasn’t coming home, he needed to know; rip the bandaid off now before the ache could set it.

Clarke looked at him, and her blue eyes never pained him so much because he couldn’t read a thing.

“Can we figure it out later?”

Bellamy can’t help but snort, and he would have been made at himself for it, if not for the ghost of a smile on her hollow face.

* * *

 

They didn’t talk. They didn’t talk about her time away, they didn’t talk about how everything she left behind was. They didn’t talk about her coming or going.

They walked.  Clarke followed at his side, or slightly in front of him. He wasn’t letting her out of his sight, not yet.

Bellamy walked back towards Arkadia, he just needed to get in range and use the radio, and Monty and Kane and Indra would get there and pick them up.

_ Them _ . He had to keep telling himself it was for them.

Something landed on his head, and when he looked up, another hit him in the face. He hadn’t really noticed the storm clouds roll in, but there they were.

The rains falling pretty steadily when he looks over to Clarke. She’s looking at him, and once again he’s jarred by how she looks like a corpse, like a stranger.

Clarke just shrugs and keeps walking. He follows

* * *

Bellamy figures they have been in range for a while, but the storm is messing with the signal.

“We’re going to need to find shelter.” He tells her, but she doesn’t even acknowledge him. 

She’s looking up at the sky, the storm raging around her. 

“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” Bellamy has to yell over the storm,  _ “Clarke!” _

She was in her own eye of a hurricane, a moment of peace in the chaos.

He can see her let out a deep breath that she had been holding. 

“Maybe I’m just ready to feel again,” she says, and he is honestly taken aback by it, but before he can respond, she says, “Come on I know a place.”

* * *

“Before, Roan caught me, I was at this trading post I’d been to a couple times before.”

They were sitting in a cave with a fire between them. Clarke had her arms wrapped around her legs, her head resting on her knee. He hadn’t asked Clarke anything; she just started talking. 

“This time Niylah was wearing one of the bracelets,” Clarke says, “the monitoring one’s the Ark had gave us? I have no idea how on earth she got that. She kept offering me a drink.”There’s a tight fondness in Clarke’s face.

“She reminded me a lot of you.” 

Bellamy is so still he might as well be made of stone.

“She had figured out who I was but she didn’t rat me out when Roan came in. She had asked me about the Mountain, how I brought it down, how amazing that was.” Clarke scoffs. “But she also thanked me, because her mother had been taken and now no one else was going to be.”

Clarke straightens up. She’s looking directly into his eyes from across the fire, the flames dancing in hers. “She reminded me that it wasn’t about who we had killed, but who we had saved. I had lost sight of that.”

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy isn’t entirely sure what he’s apologizing for, but it’s just one of those things that needed to be said.

Clarke gives him a small smile, but it looks twisted in the firelight, “I’m sorry, too.”

* * *

When the storm clears, Bellamy’s radio whirls to life. It’s Monty’s voice on the other end, frantic, where are you?

He pauses with his thumb over the button, and looks at Clarke. She gives him a nod.

“Hey Monty,” he says into the radio, “think you can come pick us up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	22. i've seen the way you look at me when you think i don't notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Season 3 speculation confrontation  
> possible spoilers?  
> Written literally less than an hour before 3x02

Bellamy had not been avoiding Clarke. At least, that’s what he told people when they asked him why; he wasn’t avoiding her, he just had other things to deal with. He could tell that people didn’t believe him; Raven gave him an unimpressed look, Miller raised an eyebrow, and Monty just looked sad.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Clarke said before she even finished barging into his quarters. 

His response is automatic. “I’ve been a bit preoccupied taking care of everyone.”

He sees her flinch at his words; he meant for them to sting, to remind her of what she had him promise:  _ take care of them for me _ .

Despite his tone and his meaning, Clarke doesn’t buy it either. Of course she wouldn’t.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” Bellamy is staring at his shoes, and tries not to think about the way her voice wavers as she speaks. “I don’t think you hate me nearly as much as you’re letting on.”

She’s says it like it’s a challenge. He can’t tell if she means that he doesn’t hate her and that he is putting on a show, or that he is holding back his animosity. Either way, she sounds resigned, like she’s ready for whatever it is he has to throw at her.

And he has a lot to throw.

“I’m not going to leave again.”

And then he snaps.

“And why should I believe you?” Bellamy whirls on her, but Clarke doesn’t move. “You left all of us when I needed you the most!” He doesn’t even register the change from plural to singular. “And then when I find you again you don’t come back! You chose to go with the people who forced our hand in Mount Weather in the first place!” 

He is seething; heavy breathing, his shoulders rising up and down, he feels hot all over like he’s going to overheat and combust any second.

Clarke sucks in a breath and closes her eyes, “A leader does what they think is right.”

He wants to scream and shout and tear out his hair. He wants to be free of her, to stop orbiting her like she’s the fucking sun. He wants to be able to see her and not fall down at her feet. He wants them to stop throwing the past in each other’s faces. He wants-

“That’s why I left,” Clarke’s eyes are open now, tearful and glassy, “but that’s why I’m back now. That’s why I’m not leaving again.”

His breathing slows a bit, but it’s still ragged and uneven. His hands clench into fists at his sides. “I forgave you for Mount Weather, for all the things you had to do. But I haven’t forgiven you for leaving.”

He storms out past her, his shoulder colliding with hers but she doesn’t budge as he leaves her.

The cold air feels suffocating as he exits the compound but he doesn’t care. He needs to take a walk, to get away from her for a moment.

Because she was right: he didn’t hate her as much as he was letting on. He didn’t hate her at all. He resented her decision; he was bitter and hurt and vindictive.

He also hated himself, because he was already in the process of giving her forgiveness, but he didn’t want to give her that yet so he distanced himself. He couldn’t stay away from her for long. She was the earth and he was the moon. She was a magnet; she was an oasis in the desert and he was lost and full of thirst.

He could turn around and go and forgive her right then and it would be genuine. He could give that to her. He could take her up in his arms and he could hold her and they could just figure it all out later and- 

But Bellamy wanted her to know the pain he had caused her. He was being petty but he didn’t care; he owed himself that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!  
> also: 3x02 IS ON IN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!


	23. just once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coco04 commented and wanted a sequel to the last one. Don't need to read the last one to understand. Takes someplace during season 3, but no spoilers.

After Clarke’s initial confrontation of him, the gates had opened. He couldn’t avoid her if he tried. He thought about her without malice more often, found himself watching her without glaring more often. 

He knew that he could forgive her, that he really did want to forgive her about put it all behind them. The grudge he was holding was flimsy at best, bitter indignation that stopped feeling righteous a long time ago.

He found her in one of the guard towers. She eyes him as he climbed up the letter and stood neck to her, leaning over the edge. 

He wanted to forgive her, he just needed his head to catch up to his heart. And to do that he needed to know one thing.

“Did you ever think about coming home?”

Clarke sighs and leans on the railing next to him, but she leaves a gap.

“I thought about it all the time,” she says, and shakes her head, “I’d dream about it, but it always turned into a nightmare.”

Bellamy steals a glance at her, but she’s not looking at him. She’s looking up at stars, and for a moment she looks just as she did the first day that they landed.

_ Can you wish on this kind of shooting star? _

_ I wouldn’t even know what to wish for. _

“I tried not to think of home, and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t,” Clarke goes on, “I just wanted to forget myself, to be no one, not a murderer or a monster or a  _ Wanheda _ .” Clarke spats out the title. “To do that I needed to forget all of the things, of all the people, that made me  _ me _ .” 

She looks at him then, and the illusion is gone. She doesn’t look like she used too, because that girl is gone. The girl of barely eighteen in front of him looks sad, and resigned. She is a mosaic made up of the broken pieces of her old self, some pieces of which are new, scars thrust upon her, and some spaces are empty for the parts that she’ll never find again.

His throat feels dry, but he manages to speak. “We’re you ever planning on coming home, then?”

That is what has been eating at him. If she wasn’t being hunted, or if she was never found, would he have ever seen her again?

Clarke has to look away from him then, “When I said  _ may we meet again _ , I meant that.” She shakes her head, “But it got harder and harder to picture that, to picture a home that would even want me to.”

“Clarke,” He places a hand on her shoulder, and she freezes a moment before melting into his hand and pushing back. “we always wanted you to come back. We never stopped looking for you.”

Clarke wipes her hand around her eyes, looks up again, trying to wield her tears to go back in and away. “You know, just once I’d like to have a conversation with you again that doesn’t end in me crying.”

That’s when he decides it’s time, because he never meant for it to go on like this, to push her away, to make her cry. In the beginning, yes, but he always had Clarke’s back, and it’s about time he started to act like it again.

“Hey,” he whispers, and tugs her in against his chest, “I’ll give that to you, okay? Forgiveness. I forgive you, Clarke, for leaving, for everything. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Her hands clutch tightly at his shirt, and she lets it out, no longer trying to hold her tears back. He runs a hand through her hair, and they stand there, swaying, until the early hours of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way sequels are not something I really plan on doing for these, but I was stuck on this one so I thought why not.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	24. you're the only one i trust to do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime during Season 3 (Written before 3x03) but no spoilers.
> 
> Inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Promise Part 1, that conversation that Zuko and Aang have on Appa in the beginning of the comic.

"You know this is never what I wanted."

Bellamy looked over at Clarke. All traces of warpaint were gone, but she still had the braids in. She was tired. She didn't look like the Commander of Death, but like death itself.

"I know," Bellamy whispered, and reached over to take her hand in his. Their reconciliation hadn't came quickly enough, there had been two many bodies, too many souls to guide back to the deep, that they were - or felt - responsible for, before they found eachother again. Before they remembered that they worked better, together, even with disagreements. They remembered that, despite countless people they have killed together, they have saved more all the same.

But war was coming, and they both felt it. They felt lost and unsure, scared for everything and everyone. Tomorrow the Ice Nation would be at their gates, and all hell would break lose.

"I need you to promise me something," He can tell that Clarke's voice is shaky despite her attempt at keeping it steady, "but you're allowed to hate me for it."

"Clarke," Bellamy squeezed her hand, letting her know that despite everything, he couldn't hate her. He had tried and tried, hating her had been an active thing for him, something he constantly had to remind himself to do when he was angry at her. Hating Clarke was hard, but forgiving her? That was easy. It was like breathing, l like living. "I've got your back, okay? I'm here. What is it?"

She used her other hand to reach behind her to unsheath her knife. She doesn't look at him when she presses it into his lap.

"I need you to make sure that I don't truly become Wanheda," Clarke's voice is hollow, hard as stone, "and I need you to make sure that no one else does, either."

His eyes darted from it to her, and back again. He can't pick up the knife; he can't pick up her promise, her death sentence.

"Clarke, wait," Bellamy pleaded with her, "Will get through this. I've got your back, I'll make sure no one-"

"Bellamy, please," Clarke's face is covered in tears, she had stopped trying to hide them from him a long time ago,  “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

Her voice cracked, and it breaks Bellamy's heart. He can feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He knows she means it. That she truly thinks that she could become a monster tomorrow, that she deserves - 

"How can you ask me to do this?" Bellamy wants to ask her what it felt like to kill Finn, a person that she loved, even in mercy. She knows that pain, it's part of what drove her away in the first place. After all of that, how could she put that pain, that burden, on him?

But he already knows the answer to that question.

"I know I'm being selfish," Clarke says between sobs, "But I need to know - I need to know that you'll be there, just in case."

_ Just in case I become the monster I've been running from. Just in case someone else tries to make me. Just in case someone else tries to use me. _

Bellamy still can't pick up the knife, and it clatters to the ground when he goes to put his arms around her. She clutches at his shirt and sobs into it.

She has accepted her death sentence, she has accepted that her shadow hangs above her like a gravestone. She is Patroclus, a warrior heading into battle knowing very well what her fate will be. And he is Achilles, ready to charge in and avenge her.

She knows that she is his Achilles Heel, but does she remember that Achilles died, too?

"I promise," he whispered, before his own body rakes with sobs, "I'll give that to you."

Clarke clutches him tighter, if that's even possible.

Bellamy keeps his promises, but he is going to make sure that this one isn't necessary. He believes in Clarke, loves her, and knows that she will not become the thing she fears most. And he won't let anyone else hurt her, kill her, or take this power they believe she has.

He promised her that he would end it before those things happened, but he promises himself that those things _won't_ happen. They couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't actually something that I expect/want/think would happen but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	25. i can't believe you talked me into this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy alternate Unity Day! Take me back to the golden days of season one.

“Why don’t you go get a drink?” Bellamy suggested, “You look like you could use one.”

Clarke gave a small laugh. “I could use more than one.” 

“Then have more than one.” Bellamy was a bit surprised, he hadn't expected her, the princess, to even go for it, but. “Clarke, the Exodus ship carrying  your mother comes down here in two days. After that, party’s over. Have some fun while you still can. You deserve it.” 

And he really does mean that. His opinion of her has changed since they went to that bunker, since their… conservation.

“Yeah. Okay.” Clarke smiled and bit her lip. It gives him the same weird feeling he had when he was teaching her how to shoot. He- he was not going to think about that now. Nope. “So do you, by the way.”

Bellamy shook his head, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I’ll have my fun when the Grounders come.”

“Come on,” Clarke bounced once on the balls of her feet, like she just couldn’t contain her excitement, “loosen up. Like you said - the party’s over as soon as they arrive.”

“I can legally drink, you know.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.” Bellamy shrugged. “I’m about six years older than Octavia.”

“Still. You can’t party with all of us, so.” Clarke nodded, considering. “Join us. Get a drink.”

“I don’t take orders from you.”

Clarke cocked an eyebrow, smirking at him. “Fine.” She took a step forward, and poked him in the chest. She was trying to be intimidating, but all Bellamy could feel was a flush creep up on him. “I order you to stay at your post and avoid all alcohol.”

Bellamy stared her down. There was no way he was doing it. No. He wasn’t caving to her just because she used some reverse-psychology bullshit. Absolutely not. No way. He wasn't going to succumb to her pout, no matter how cute it was-

* * *

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Bellamy slurred, later that night, holding his - sixth? seventh? - drink in his hand, it’s contents sloshing all around.

Clarke laughed, throwing the back of her hand up to cover her mouth; she was doubling over, barely on her own two feet. She had drank just as much as him, and even being smaller than him, she was still up, and just damn, that’s impressive.

“You knew you wanted too,” Clarke manages to say after a few tries. Her laugh is mostly a silent wheeze, the expression glued to her face as she slaps her knee. “you  _ know _ .”

She reaches out to him to steady herself, her hand sliding down his arm and finding its way around his waist. He throws his arm around her, too, despite still being fairly stable on his own. As he does so, all the contents of his drink slosh out and onto the ground, which only sends her into another fit of laughter.

That weird feeling is back, and mixed with the warmth that the moonshine brings him, it’s positively strange. He keeps glancing at her mouth when she laughs, at her lips when she licks them.

Like she’s doing now, staring up at him with those big, blue eyes.

He can’t stop himself from swaying slightly, from licking his own lips, but he manages to say: “you’re drunk.”

Clarke’s smile is as sloppy as her speech, “no I’m not. You’re drunk.”

“Clarke-”

“I’m tired.” Clarke said, and then yawned like she needed to emphasize her point. “Sleep now.”

It was as if she turned a twitch off inside her, because all the remaining force she had to keep herself up at left her. Clarke was slumping against him, and the sheer surprise plus Bellamy’s own shakiness sends him falling backwards onto the ground, her landing on top of him.

He groaned. He would definitely feel that in the morning. Or later that day. When were they?

Clarke’s eyes were closed, but she was still laughing at him. She clutched at his jacket and snuggled into his chest. “Sleep, _now_.”

They were off to the side of the dropship, just lying there on the forest floor, but it was a warm night, and they had liquid fire coursing through their veins. But Clarke seemed not to care at all; she could just drop anywhere and sleep, apparently.

Bellamy huffed. “I don’t take orders from you.”

But Clarke was already out, and soon after he was too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	26. i got you a present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place sometime during S3 after Clarke has returned to Arkadia  
> Spoilers through 3x03

The Grounders measured time differently. Apparently that stemmed from years and years ago, when the sky was so clouded with the aftermath of the apocalypse that reading the path of the sun was impossible.

But the Ark didn’t have that problem when they came down. They readjusted when they marked the start of the seasons due to the changing climate, but they kept track of what day it was.

And today, was Bellamy’s birthday.

The calendar in the main yard had been updated, and it reminded him. He had completely forgot, but even back in space he didn’t pay too much attention to that date.

_ Twenty-four. _

Octavia was out with Lincoln and Indra dealing with some Trikru dissidents, so no one in camp knew of the day’s significance. He wanted to keep it that way. He went about his day like nothing was different about it. Birthdays weren’t cause for celebration in the Blake compartment. They were the beginning of a death sentence. But here on the ground… Bellamy didn’t know how to celebrate, if he should even celebrate. The day felt tainted, anyway, so what was the point?

He’s one of the only people at the bar that night. He’s got a table to himself, and he’s thankful for that. People tend to give him a wide berth, after everything.

But the Clarke sits down next to him, and says: “I got you a present.”

It’s all so jarring, her next to him, saying that, that he slips up: “How’d you know what day it was?”

Clarke looks at him in confusion, and Bellamy scolds himself. 

“I didn’t. I…” Clarke sounds more nervous than he has seen her be in a while. Her homecoming had been later than they all wanted, and they were still on uneven and unfamiliar ground. Clarke swallows. “I saw this in Polis. I thought you’d might like it, thought it could be a kind of… peace offering.”

She slides a book onto the table -  _ The Odyssey. _

Bellamy’s blood runs cold.

He can’t remember the feeling of Gina’s lips on his, he can barely remember the way her smiled look liked, but. He remembers the warmth in her voice as she says:  _ “Got you something, though.” _

He still has it. That copy of  _ The Iliad _ that she had given him. He’s never opened it, it’s somewhere among the junk under his bed, but he does still have it. That has to count for something.

_ “You said your mom used to read this to you. Thought you’d like it.” _

It strikes him then that Clarke doesn’t know. Clarke doesn’t know that he received another one of Homer’s classics as a gift, from someone he cared about. She doesn’t even know about that someone, about Gina, his girlfriend. He doesn’t know that she died in that Mountain.

“I-” he stops himself. It doesn’t feel right to explain. Not here, not now, not ever. Gina’s death wasn’t fair, and he’s still gets burst of anger and grief despite months passing, but. It doesn’t feel right to bring it up. It would feel like throwing it in Clarke’s face, and despite his lingering resentment towards her, he doesn’t want her to go away again. He doesn’t want her putting more responsibility on her shoulders. Because he knows, that if he mentions his loss, that she will bear it. That’s…

“I do.” Bellamy croaks. He takes the book, and stands abruptly. He can’t stand to be out here one more second. “Thanks.”

He turns and leaves but not before catching the hurt look on her face. She thinks he’s brushing her off again, that he doesn’t want the olive branch. He does, he’s still bitter, but he can’t keep that up for much longer. He knows it’s time. He’ll show her that tomorrow, that he wants to fix what they have broken.

When he gets to his room he shoves the book under the bed just like he did with the other.

What both of them didn’t understand when they gave him those gifts, was that he didn’t have time for stories of war and death and quests and heroes anymore.

He was living one of those now, and he was sick of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	27. i'm pregnant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future Fic + Established Relationship

He had been gone for three days on a trading run when he gets back. It’s Raven who meets them in the garage, but she doesn’t look happy to see him.

“It’s Clarke,” Raven says, and the smile falls off his face and his body goes still, “she’s in medical, she’s been-”

That’s all the information he needs before he’s bolting off down the halls. What could have happened? He was gone three days. She was fine when he-

He collides with someone and he doesn’t have _time_ for this, “ _Get out of my-_ ”

“Bellamy?”

Bellamy blinks down at the person he ran into, “Clarke?” He couldn’t believe this. “Why aren’t you in medical? Raven said-”

Clarke rolled her eyes and laid a hand on his arm to calm him, “I’m fine. I’ve been throwing up nonstop so my mom had me on bedrest, but I’m fine now-”

“ _ Nonstop? _ Clarke are you-”

“I said I’m fine  _ now _ -”

“You should go back to-”

Clarke leaned up and kissed him, shutting him up. “I’m not dying okay,” Clarke said when she pulled back. “I was going to tell you later tonight, but.” Clarke bit her lip, but that couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across her face. “I’m pregnant.”

Something short circuited in Bellamy’s brain. He was frozen where he stood, just staring at her in disbelief.

“We’re-” He managed to get out. He pulled back slightly to he could look down at her stomach. “We’re having a baby?”

Clarke nodded, tears pricking at her eyes, “We’re having a baby.”

“We’re having a baby.” It was just on loop in his mind, on repeat; checking and double checking because - _ wow _ .  _ “We’re having a baby!” _

He can’t stop saying it either; the words taste too delicious on his tongue. He picks Clarke up and she’s laughing and he’s shouting and echoing throughout but he doesn’t care.

_ Clarke’s pregnant. They were having a baby.  _

He kisses her like it’s the first time - with all of that same passion, but the tears this time are happy. 

_ He was going to be a father. They were going to be parents. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three in one day? Hell yeah.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	28. marry me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future Fic + Established Relationship

It was one of those moments between moments. It was one of those rare, fleeting, often brief moments in which they didn’t have to deal with the world on their shoulders or their responsibilities or worries. 

The grass was moist, but not uncomfortably; it was soft, and tickled when the light breeze came through. 

They were lying side by side in the meadow, nearly touching but not quite. 

Clarke took a deep breath and let the clean, cool air fill her lungs. In this moment she wasn’t a leader, she was just Clarke.

But she was always just Clarke with Bellamy.

She watched him as his fingers traced the petals of a little flower that was growing between them, the pad of his thumb delicately brushing it. There was bits of grass in his curls, his curls which danced in the breeze and made Clarke want to reach over and run her hands through. But Clarke didn’t reach out and touch him, she didn’t want the moment to end.

He was radiating heat more than the shining sun above him. He was brighter than the sun - his smile was blinding. His freckles shone like stars in broad daylight.

Clarke didn’t want this moment to end, she wanted it to last a lifetime.

“Marry me?” The words were barely more than a whisper, a breath escaping her lips.

But Bellamy heard. He gave a light chuckle and closed his eyes, basking in the sun one more time before he rolled on his side to face her, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Yeah,” Bellamy’s voice was light and breezy, and sounded of home, “yeah - of course.” He laughed again, because yes it was a no-brainer,  _ of course _ he would. “What brought this on?”

Clarke did reach out this time and tangled her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck. A slight shiver went through his body, but he leaned into his touch.

Clarke shook her head lightly, “I don’t know.” And it’s true, because she’s thought about it for a while, each time another wedding around them happened - Octavia and Lincoln, her mother and Kane - she thought about it more and more. But her and Bellamy, did they need a cermony? Not really, they were bound by much more than vows. “I just love you a lot.”

He rolled so that he was completely on top of her. Kissing him was like kissing fire - warm and wild and life-giving and beautiful. There was only him, Bellamy and then there was only them. Together.

Bellamy pulled back to rest his forehead against hers. The sun backlighting him made it impossible for her to see his features, but she new he was smiling. “I love you a lot, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	29. i thought you were dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 3x02 and 3x03

Clarke’s on her balcony, once again glaring down at the streets of Polis, when the door to her chambers swings open.

“I don’t want to see you-” She spins around, but stops short, her breath catches, upon seeing who it is. “ _ Bellamy _ .”

He’s not in his grounder disguise anymore - he’s in his normal clothes - that blue shirt that’s always dirty, but that she remembers being soft under her touch. His hair is shorter, he’s got some blood on his nose, a cut curving on his cheek.

Clarke rushes forward to meet him and flings herself into his arms. It takes him a moment to respond, but he wraps his arms tight around her, presses his face into the crook of her shoulder. He feels like home.

“How-” Clarke chokes on her words, she can feel tears of pure relief pricking at the corners of her eyes. She squeezes him tighter, breathes him in. “I thought you were dead. Bellamy, I thought-”

She pulls back to look at him, and he’s eyes are filled with disbelief, with relief, with wonder, with  _ she’s really here _ .

“Why, Clarke?” Bellamy says in a voice that does not sound how she remembers it - it doesn’t sound like _ home _ . It sends chills down her spine, and she knows that something is very, very wrong. “Why did you leave?”

The world flickers around her, and this is not Bellamy, not the Bellamy that tried to save her three days ago. _ This _ Bellamy is from a lifetime ago; from when she met him again inside Camp Jaha, after having found her way back from Mount Weather. 

This Bellamy is a ghost.

“Why did you let me die for you?” 

_ “Bell-” _

He falls back onto the ground, falls back into long hair and Ice Nation gear, onto dirt and cement and leaves.

Clarke finds herself unable to move: her feet rooted to the ground, her hands glued to her sides.

There's a shadowy figure looming over Bellamy, a sword pressed down against his throat.

"Oh, please. Please don't." Clarke begs, "I'll do anything. I... I'll stop fighting. Just please don't kill him."

When the figure to turns to smirk at her, it is not Roan. It's her reflection.

Her doppelgänger leans down onto the sword.

* * *

 

Clarke wakes up gasping for breath, for air, for Bellamy, for anything. 

_It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare._

_One, two, three, four, five..._

He had appeared in her nightmares before, yes. But she had never dreamed, never feared of his death. It was those who she had killed that haunted her every night.

_Does this mean that he's dead?_

No one else was supposed to die for her. Especially not him. 

He couldn't be dead. He couldn't. She needed to get out here, to find him, to make sure he was okay - _alive_.

She needed to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured out today that I've written about 9 season 3 reunions for bellarke, and I just couldn't make that 10 so I decided to experiment a little with dream sequences in this chapter.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	30. it's not what it looks like...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between "Unity Day" and "I Am Become Death"

One of these days, she was going to kill Bellamy Blake.

“Will you stop stringing people up trees to punish them?” Clarke said, indignantly, as she burst into his tent, “Why would you do that, after  _ Murph _ -”

Clarke cuts herself short though, when she finally sees Bellamy.

Bellamy, who is wearing nothing but his boxers and socks; Bellamy, who is glistening with sweat, his dark curls clinging to his forehead.

Bellamy, who is looking at her with an amused, cocky expression.

“You going to finish that sentence, Princess?”

Clarke felt a flush creep across her cheeks. “I-I-” Clarke shook her head, the redness in her cheeks turning from embarrassment back into anger, “What could Sterling have possibly done for you justify that?” 

Bellamy rolled his shoulders back, and Clarke couldn’t stop herself from glancing down at his sculpted chest. She was going to kill him. Or jump him-

Oh no.

Bellamy snorted, and when Clarke looked back up at him his smirk had turned into a sneer, as if he was recalling the offending incident. “That’s between Sterling and I.”

He turned his back to her.   
Clarke was having none of that.

“What happened to being a team?” Clarke strode up to him, and when he turned back to her, she suddenly realized just how close she was to his chest. 

“I _ handled _ it.” Bellamy said, not moving away from her.

Clarke swallowed all those weird… feelings that were creeping up in her chest.

“If you hate the Ark so much,” She glared up at him. They had come a long way from when they first landed. They were co-leaders, a team. She trusted him, and she had thought that he trusted her too. “then why do you keep acting like them?”

Bellamy narrowed his eyes down at her. She can tell she struck a chord with him, and he opens his mouth to retort- But he closes it again, and suddenly  _ he’s _ the one blushing.

He muttered something that Clarke couldn’t make out, and she raised an eyebrow in response. He gave her a look that said:  _ are you really going to make me say it again? _

Bellamy let out a huff. “Sterling was disrespecting you.” Bellamy’s looking sheepish now. “He was spreading lies about  _ you  _ and  _ him _ from Unity Day...”

Clarke’s eyes went wide.

“Oh.”

Bellamy rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah.”

Clarke cleared her throat, tried not to focus on the way his shoulder muscles contracted, or how Bellamy was defending her honor, how it had bothered him enough that he…

“I can take care of myself, you know-”

“Hey, Bellamy have you seen-” Miller said as he entered the tent, and stopped short at the sight of them. “Clarke?”

They jumped apart, startled. Miller was looking between the both of them, his eyebrow raising at the sight of Bellamy.

“It’s not what it looks like…” But Clarke’s voice was strained, and none all too convincing.

“Riiiight,” Miller drew out, before heading out of the tent. Clarke could make out him shouting: “he hasn’t seen her, Monty!”

Clarke swallowed, all too aware of her surroundings, of him, right now. "I should get going-"

"Or," Bellamy says, his voice low in a way she hasn't heard before, not dangerous at all, "you could stay. I was getting ready for bed, when you..."

Clarke couldn't stop herself from looking him up and down, from her eyes lingering too long in... certain areas.

One of these days, she was going to kill Bellamy Blake. 

(But today is not that day.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	31. you lied to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime down the road in Season 3, no spoilers

Bellamy burst into Clarke’s room, “You’re full of shit, you know that?”

He thought they were past this. He thought that they had repaired something, they were still on rocky ground, but- but it was something at least. She was back and-

Bellamy clenched his fists.

Both Clarke and her mother stared at him. Clarke gave her mother a nod, but she still gave him a weary look on her way out.

It was just him and Clarke now.

_ Like old times?  _ Bellamy wanted to spat.

Clarke didn’t say anything, she wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. Her eyes were looking past him, at a spot over his shoulder.

He couldn’t take her acting like he wasn’t even there. “ _ You lied to me.” _ Bellamy said.

That gets her attention. Her eyes are soft and sad, and that only makes it worse. “Bell-”

“ _ You lied to me! _ ” Bellamy snapped. “You said you weren’t going to leave again.”

Bellamy barreled towards her, towered over her. “And what do you do? The first chance you get - you’re out of here again.”

Clarke shook her head. “Would you just listen-”

“Oh, you’re already packed!” Bellamy shoved past  her and grabbed at her pack that was on her bed. “We’re you even going to tell me this time? Or just slip away and hope no one noticed?”

_ “Please-” _

“I  _ trusted  _ you.” Bellamy throws her pack back down on the bed. “You promised you wouldn’t leave again-”

“I promised I would never leave  _ you _ again!” Clarke cried out, yanking at her hair. “You… I don’t want to leave you, Bellamy. But I have to do this.” Clarke stepped towards him and takes one of his hands her both of hers. “I want you to come with me.”

Something catches in Bellamy’s throat. “Clarke…”

“I need you,” Clarke squeezed his hand. “I know you don’t want to leave, but it’s like you said. Together. We work better together.”

Bellamy shakes his head, and he imagines, _this is what it must of felt like, to have the guillotine fall on your neck_.

"I _can't_ leave." Bellamy meets her eyes, knowing that she will understand. "I'm needed here, too."

Clarke let out a breath, and swallowed. "And I'm needed there." She drops his hand. He can see her shift on her toes slightly, like she's going to reach up again, and kiss him on the cheek like last time. But she doesn't.  "May we meet again." 

She grabbed her pack, and just like that, she was gone, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i'm just going to go ahead and apologize for this one I wrote the first part and then stared at it for like four hours so who knows how it turned out. I don't know, that's for sure
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	32. i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Season 2 AU, after Clarke comes back

Clarke is used to the nightmares. She’s used to that sensation of falling that jerks her away. She’s used to the way her lungs close up and the struggle it is to breathe, to calm down, to realize it was a dream, to remember where she is.

Clarke is used to the panic attacks. She’s used to waking up drenched in sweat and feeling like her whole body is underwater, that she’s drowning.

But Clarke isn’t used to waking up next to Bellamy.

When she had come back, it had been rocky, but they still gravitated towards each other. Clarke didn’t have a room, and Bellamy still had trouble letting her out of his sight.

Bellamy jerked awake next to her, his eyes snapping open.  He sat up and wrapped a strong arm around her, murmuring into her hair.

They always woke up at the sound of the other’s nightmares, like they were calling to each other. 

The unlocking of airlock doors. Charlotte. The plague. The ring of fire. Maya. Mount Weather.

That is what is the same between them. 

She knows that his goes off to cages, to IVs and blood tubes, to a fiery tunnel. He knows that her’s involve a knife sliding between ribs, the fiery chaos of TonDC.

Their nightmares are full of the lives they’ve taken and the lives they had felt responsible for.

What Bellamy doesn’t know though, is that none of that wakes Clarke up anymore. The last straw, the thing that sent her screaming and gasping, was a new body.

It was his - it was Bellamy. It was Bellamy with a sword through his neck, a spear through his stomach; it was always Bellamy, dying. It was always Clarke, not being able to save him. It was always Clarke, failing him. It was always Clarke, killing him.

Her time away had only cemented the words she had told him a lifetime ago: _ I can’t lose you too, okay? _

And with Bellamy’s arms around her, urging her to lay back down on the bed, she feels comforted in the short term, but not the long. 

She curls up into his chest, and his hand gently stroking her back sends shivers down her spine.

What happens when she wakes and he’s not there?

* * *

Clarke has not been avoiding Bellamy; she’s not avoiding him in the physical sense at least.

She’s with him most of the day, actually. Whether it’s council meetings or getting lunch or him bringing her another cadet injured from training. 

But she has been uncharacteristically quiet: she doesn’t quip back, she doesn’t interject at council meetings. She’s barely said a word that wasn’t routine all day.

And he as sure as hell noticed, because he’s been looking at her strangely, searching, worriedly, uncertain - he’s got that crease between his eyebrows that Clarke always wants to smooth out with her thumb. 

And she wasn’t avoiding Bellamy that night, when she didn’t come to his - to their - room right away. She wasn’t avoiding him when she lingering, by Raven’s gate for too long, away from the fire and prying eyes. She wasn’t avoiding him, because she did go back to their room that night, and she knew - god, she knew him - that he would still be up waiting for her.

His head jerks up when she enters. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, with his elbows resting on his knees. His shoes are on but untied - like was was trying to decide whether or not to go out and look for her.

She can see the relief soften his face a little, but the worry is still there. Clarke takes a breath before toeing off her shoes and sitting down on the bed next to him. Her thigh grazes his, and he immediately presses his against hers.

They stay like that for quite a while: not talking, just breathing.

She can see his jaw work, his mouth opens a few times like he wants to say something, but he stops himself. He’s waiting on her.

Clarke closes her eyes. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” She cannot see him, but she can feel him. She can feel the shift in his axis. But she presses on, she needs to. “I’m in love with you and I’m terrified that I am going to lose you - and I can’t lose you again I can’t - and I’m terrified that you’re going to die and it’s going to be my fault Bellamy I’m going to get you killed one day because that’s what happens when I love someone - they die. And I don’t know what I’d do if-”

Bellamy places his hands over Clarke’s in her lap, and that’s enough.

She’s crying and breathing hard, but Bellamy strokes circles into her hands. She lays her head down into his shoulder, his shirt getting damp from her tears.

“Clarke.” Her breath shudders, and he squeezes her hands. “I am terrified, too. I’m terrified that you’ll die, that I’ll die and that you’ll be alone. I’m terrified that this true will break and that will be at war again because I don’t know if either of us can handle that again.”

Bellamy pulls one hand back and gently places in on her cheek, and pulls her face up so that she’s meeting his eyes. “But I’m not terrified of you, Clarke. I know you. I know that you’ll have my back, and that I’ll have yours, and I know that neither of us are going anywhere as long as we can help it.” He straightens then, and then is a shift in his eyes: a fire, a determination: “I know that I am in love with you. I’m know that nothing is going to change that. I love you, Clarke. I love you so much. I can’t lose you either.”

He presses his lips to hers down to hers, and she’s shaking for a whole other reason.

She’s still terrified, of a future uncertain. But they’ll brave it like they always do: together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote a longer one because valentines day!
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	33. please don't do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alternate Season 2 ending

“Where you gonna go?” Bellamy asks, but he already knows what her answer is going to be.

“I don’t know.” She says, and he gets that. She needs to find herself again, to wash off the blood to see if her skin is still there. He knows the feeling, he understands

But when she presses her lips to his cheek, when she hugs him, holds onto him, he just can’t let her go.

“Please don’t do this,” he begs, holding onto her tighter. “Please, Clarke… We need you…”

Clarke doesn’t try to pull away, just gives him a squeeze. “I tried to be the good guy, Bellamy, but I- I became a monster instead. That's my burden to bear - not theirs.”

Bellamy doesn’t let go, but he pulls far back enough to look her in the eye. “If you’re a monster, then I am one, too, Clarke. We pulled that lever together. We-” Bellamy’s voice cracks, “I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

Clarke can’t meet his eyes. He sees them flicker between the camp gates, and the forest, but never him.

“Clarke, I can’t lose you,” Bellamy is at the end of his rope, he's trying to reach her... “We- I can’t lose anyone else.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke finally looks up at him. “I…”

“One night,” Bellamy concedes, “Come inside, have that drink, stay the night… and if you still want to leave in the morning, I won’t stop you.”

Clarke’s lip quivers, but she nods, solemnly . Bellamy can’t help but sigh in relief. Bellamy gives her another squeeze and places a kiss onto her forehead.

He keeps his arm around her waist as they walk into the camp, and when Clarke doesn’t look back, he takes that as a good sign. 

But if come tomorrow she's walking back out that gate, she won't be alone.

He's not losing her - never again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short because I didn't feel like rehashing that whole scene out.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	34. if you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Established Relationship + Post Canon (No spoilers)

Clarke was going to go out of her fucking mind.

She and Bellamy hadn’t had sex in over a  _ week _ . And, okay, that shouldn’t be her biggest right now. She should be more focused on these trade agreements, and the fact that at least half of the ambassadors probably want to kill her.

She and Bellamy have been only together for about a month when the summit invite to Polis came in, and where Clarke goes, so does Bellamy.

And along also came Kane, and her mother, and several guards. They had been stretched thin, in meetings day in and day out. She and Bellamy were often in the same place, but they hadn’t got a moment alone since they’ve been there.

Bellamy and her technically shared their quarters too, him being her guard and all. They had decided to keep their relationship on the down-low here in Polis. King Roan already knew about them, and that was dangerous enough.

But Bellamy didn’t understand that. He kept smirking at her, subtly flexing his muscles, running his hand through his hair in that way that he knows gets her all riled up. He was back to a blue shirt. She had always liked that blue shirt, and the things that that shirt did to his arms…

Earlier, Bellamy had been sparring with Roan, eager to take him on again. And they had both been shirtless. And sweaty. And Bellamy’s skin, the ripple of his muscles, glistened in the sun. His hair was wet, and when it flipped around-

Yeah, Clarke was going to lose her mind.

But nothing could have prepared Clarke for that night. It was a dinner between leaders; a formal, ceremonial affair. Clarke was used to wearing grounder clothes from her previous time in Polis. But Bellamy… in grounder formal wear…?

His tunic had no sleeves, and she could see the veins executed on his arms. His pants were tightly fitted, and his hair was pulled back. She was all too aware of his presence next to her.

Bellamy didn’t really look at her, but he wouldn’t stop touching her. A brush of fingers as she passed something to him, his arm as he reached over; the deliberate press of his thigh against her.

It’s safe to say that she wasn’t hearing a word of what was being discussed.

“You know,” Bellamy leans towards her, his breath brushing her ear, his voice low enough for only her to hear, “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to bed.”

She nearly chokes on her food.

The second, the split second that they are out of that dining room and presumably alone, she’s got him against the wall.

“What happened-” He says between the firm presses of her mouth against his, “-to discretion?”

“ _ Fuck off _ ,” Clarke growls, her mouth sliding down to nip at his neck, “now you want to be  _ discrete _ .”

Bellamy runs his hands down her back, settling on the curve of her ass. She grinds her hips forwards and it elicits a groan from him.

“I am serious though-” Clarke can’t help but feel a surge of pride at the strain in his voice. “if we keep this up, we won’t make it to a-”

“If you want a bed so much,” She’s back to look him in the eye now, and she slides one leg up to curl around his leg, “then let’s go.”

She can feel the deep growl in his chest, and then he hoists her up, her ankles locking above his ass behind him. Her fingers dance along the band that’s holding his hair back.

“Hold on tight,” He says, and she grinds on him with response. As he bolts them down the hall to their quarters, Clarke is praying that no one is in their quarters needing them. Because _she_ needed Bellamy inside of her, like,  _ yesterday _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I started regular updates on this again this has been the longest break I've taken?? (I have been writing a lot of other stuff though wink wink). It was hard to get back into the fluffy swing of things after the angst fest though. This took a lot longer than I thought it would.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	35. you heard me. take. it. off.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke get a private word, set in 3x03 (and i’m going to try to pretend that I haven’t seen 3x05 here)

“Bellamy, you have to listen to me,” Clarke says as soon as they are alone back in her quarters. There was no way she was letting him leaving without talking to him. She needed time to process him, to really see him.

_He’s alive. He’s okay._

Physically, at least. His whole body had changed when Raven’s - _Raven was alive_ \- crying voice came over the radio. It was like taking the safety off a gun, like a spring being wound up, waiting to snap.

“I don’t take orders from you, _remember_?” Bellamy practically snarls, “and neither does Arkadia.”

“ _Bellamy,_ ” His name still tasted foreign on her tongue. It's been far too long, she knows that, “I _have_ to stay, to make sure that the Ice Nation pays for Mount Weather-”

 _“Don’t,”_ Bellamy snaps, pointing an accusing finger at her, “Don’t talk about - you don’t know what we've lost, what _I-”_ Bellamy’s voice cracks, and tears have spilled over in his eyes.

She wants nothing more to than to reach out and touch him, to wrap her arms around him. To cross this gap that’s formed across space and time between them.

But Bellamy takes a step back from her. His voice is shaky, but still hard and determined when he speaks next: “Take it off.”

Clarke blinks, surprised. “What?”

“You heard me." Bellamy clenches his fists, and gestures to his face, "Take. It. Off. I want to talk to Clarke, not _Wanheda_. If she’s even still in there.”

Clarke opens her mouth, but closes it again. His words hit her like a slap in the face; she feels tears pricking at her own eyes. She takes a deep breath, and goes to the water basin on the other side of the room. She wipes the paint off her face, presses the cool cloth under her eyes to try to stop the swelling and tears.

Just because the paints gone, doesn’t mean she’s isn’t the _Wanheda_ anymore. No, she’ll always be that. But Bellamy… she remembers his face - _his smile_ \- from when he had come to save her. For a moment, she didn’t feel like _Wanheda_ then. He hadn't seen her as _Wanheda_ , then...

She turns back to face him. He’s no longer crying: he’s just stone, unmoving.

“You should come home to your people,” She can barely hear him, his voice is so low.

Clarke swallows. "I have to be hear to keep them safe. It's what's best-"

"How could you know what's best for your people if you haven't even _been_ there?"

He goes on before she can reply. “Jasper’s not coping - he’s an alcoholic. He was smiling as an Ice Nation scout went to slit his throat. Harper wakes up screaming every night. Raven’s in more pain than she’s ever been. Monty barely eats, barely sleeps-” Bellamy has to stop himself to catch his breath. “They aren’t fine, Clarke! _None of them are fine_!”

"I've tried to take care of them like you asked me to," Bellamy says, "But they needed you, Clarke. _I needed_ _you_."

He's blurry in her vision, obscured by the tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

_For leaving. For not being there. For everything._

"We still need you."

"I can do more good from here."

_For having to leave again._

Bellamy scoffs - cruely and harshly. "You may keep them _alive_ by being here, but they aren't really _living_."

Clarke shuts her eyes tightly. She wants to go home, she does; she wants nothing more than to go with him. But she knows - she doesn't trust Lexa, or the rest of the coalition. She needs to make sure they keep their word, unlike last time.

Besides, the Ice Queen still wants Clarke's head, and she won't go home with a target on her back, putting everyone in danger.

"If you ever decide to care again, you know where to find us." And then Bellamy is turning around, storming out of the room.

And then he's gone, and Clarke feels like he's ripped a part out of her and took it with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm regurgitating words again.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	36. i wish i could hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The missing scene between when Bellamy handcuffs Clarke and when he's taking her to Pike's office.

Clarke yanks on the handcuffs again, and again, but it's no use.

She gives a heavy sigh an presses her forehead down again the cool metal of the table, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

They were supposed to understand one another, she used to understand him. They were supposed to be partners, to have each other’s back- 

But Clarke has to remind herself that she left first. That she was the one who burned that bridge down.

But she had hope, even after their encounter at Polis, that he would be on her side. She kept picturing his smiling face - god, how she had missed his smile - from when he tried to rescue her from Roan.

It’s still unbelievable to her, jarring. He had crossed the ashes she had left in her wake then, but now. Well, everyone has their breaking point, and she had pushed him to his. She thought he’d be the one thing she could never lose.

She wouldn’t lose him - _I can't lose you too_ \- she’d find a way to get him back-

Clarke’s head snaps up as the door to Lincoln and Octavia’s quarters opens again. Bellamy’s back, hard as he was before, but now he had another guard with him; older, an adult, someone Clarke didn’t recognize.

“Please, Bellamy.” Her eyes flickered from the other guard and then to him as he comes over to undo her cuff from the table. She grabs onto his wrist as soon as he's in reach, like a lifeline. “Please don’t do this. Think about what you’re doing. I know you hate me-”

“I wish I could hate you,” Bellamy says, and it comes out smaller than she would have ever expected. She squeezes her hand tighter around his wrist. She feels his thumb brush over her other hand, for a moment, almost absentmindedly. “After everything- I still can’t hate you. I’ve  _ tried  _ to hate you, but.” Bellamy shakes his head. “I just hate what you’ve made yourself into.”

She doesn’t even try to fight him as he takes the cuff off the table leg and snaps it onto her other wrist and hauls her to her feet.

“You don’t have to do this,” Clarke can’t help herself from trying again. He may have given up on himself but she will never, ever give up on him. “There’s always another way, a better way.”

Bellamy looks at her, and it breaks Clarke’s heart. He’s looking her as if she’s stranger, like he’s looking right through her.

“A leader does what they think is right,” Bellamy says, pulling her along, “so that’s what I’m doing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M LIKE 80% SURE THIS IS THE LAST OF THE ANGST I AM THRILLED  
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	37. wanna dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2 AU, Clarke and Bellamy at Lincoln and Octavia's wedding

There were fires lit all over TonDC, only this time they weren’t burning for war, but burning for celebration.

Lincoln and Octavia were married. Neither the marriage hadn't been a condition of the treaty, but it just felt fitting that a union between their two peoples would mark the start of their peace.

Clarke was still having trouble wrapping her around everything - so much had happened so quickly in the wake of Mount Weather. 

But she knew that there was someone who was probably having a harder time than her. 

She spots Bellamy on the other side of the fire, leaning against one of the buildings. He's watching the dance floor, specifically his sister as she was picked up and spun around by Lincoln, her laugh rising over the crowd.

“She’s not gone, you know,” Clarke says as she slides up next to him. He jumps, having been too lost in thought to notice her approaching. He looks kind of confused, so she nudges him with her elbow. “She's still your sister, that’ll never change. Cheer up."

Bellamy gives a light sigh, “I am happy, for her, it’s just…” Bellamy rubs the back of his neck. “I never thought this would happen, you know? Octavia… no matter how well we hid her under the floor, her life always had an expiration date.”

Clarke hums in acknowledgement. She’s always been curious, as to what their long term plan was with Octavia. What happened when she was too big to be hidden? What would happen when Bellamy had to be married and reassigned living spaces? And apparently, they hadn’t had a plan.

“She’s…” Bellamy looks away from her, his eyes falling back on his sister. She’s dancing with Jasper now. “She’s married.” Bellamy smiles, and it’s brighter than any of the flames around them, and it warms her up more than they ever could. “I never thought she’d have a life like this. I just wish tha... I wish that mom could have seen this…”

The smile dies down again, and he looks up back at the stars, to the home they can never go back too.

“Wanna dance?” Clarke blurts out then. Partially because she wants to get him out of his thoughts and into the party, because she knows that he will remember this night and he should be having fun in their new peace-time memories. But also because she just wants to reach out and touch him. There's something about the way the fire illuminates his face, how his dark curls blow in the light breeze.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Clarke rolls her eyes and takes his hand, pulling him onto the dance floor.

"You'll thank me later!" She calls over the beating of the drums and the drunken cheers.

They are swept up by all the bodies, but Clarke never breaks contact with him. Her hand in his, or on his arm, or his chest, or in his hair. Or her body pressed up against his so that no space is between them. She can feel his hot breath on her neck, and when his lips brush her ear lobe her head is spinning.

It gets too hot - for many reasons - and Clarke sheds her jacket, it disappearing into the throng. She strips Bellamy of his, and her fingers follow his bulging veins as they slide down his arms.

Removing their jackets didn't do much for the heat. 

Bellamy's smile is wide and goofy and big; his laughter is music to her ears. They dance for so long Clarke has no idea what time it is when she eventually has to stop to get a drink. She doesn't want to leave him, but they'd both burn up like phoenixes if they didn't take a breather.

The music dies down to a slower tempo, in sync with the rise and fall of Clarke's chest as she catches her breath. She's heading back, drink in hand for herself and for Bellamy, when she sees him.

He's got Octavia in his arms, and they are swaying to the low beat of the music. He catches her eye over his sister's shoulder, and mouths to her: _"thank you."_

She gives him a fond smile and raises her cup to him in return. 

This would be the start, the first of many, of happy memories on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been sitting on my bed for the past four hours with this doc open but I kept getting distracted by gifs of Bellamy. BUT HERE WE ARE.  
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	38. you fainted…straight into my arms. you know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime after Day Trip

The first thing Clarke saw when she opened her eyes was the grey ceiling of the drop ship. Which was weird, because the last thing she remembered was yelling at Jasper out by the wall…

Clarke groaned as she tried to sit up - why was she lying down? - her head was pounding and her muscles ached. 

“Hey, sleeping beauty is finally awake.” Clarke turned at the voice: it was Bellamy, looking a bit ragged, sitting in a chair next to the table she was on. He was grinning up at her, but she could see worry etched on his face. “Perfect timing too, I thought I’d have to go get Spacewalker to kiss you awake.”

Clarke blinked at him. “Bellamy -  _ wh a _ _t?_ Why are you- how did I-?”

Bellamy placed a hand on her shoulder and eased her back down onto the table. She tried to push back against him, but he shot her a warning look. “You fainted…straight into my arms.” There was definitely worry in his voice, not even that smirk could hide it. “You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Clarke managed to snort. “ _ Bellamy. _ ”

“In all serious though,” he said, and just like that his joking demeanor was gone, “Clarke, you scared the shit out of us.”

“Bellamy, I’m fine. I just needed some sleep, and I got it so-” She gripped the edge of the table for leverage to pull herself up, but Bellamy pried her hand off and held onto it tightly, smoothing her fingers flat in his palm.

“You haven’t been eating, Clarke,” he said, his fingers tracing hers, “don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Clarke felt a blush creep up her cheeks. “I’ve been eating plenty.”

“Then tell me, when was the last time you ate?”

Clarke opened her mouth, then closed it again. She’d been  _ busy _ , she hadn’t had the  _ time _ to take meal breaks when there was so much else that she needed to get done. “It was- I’m a bit disoriented right now. I can’t answer that question.”

“So you admit that you are  _ not okay  _ right now,” Bellamy said, smugness creeping up on his face, “And - Clarke. Monty says you’ve been looking out of it for days.”

Clarke shrunk away from him, guilty. She had been feeling light headed and dizzy, and Monty had been with her for most of that time. Of course Monty would have noticed.

“You need to take care of yourself too. What would we do without our only doctor?” Bellamy went on. He still hand her hand in his, and right now his fingers were sliding between her’s and grasping them tightly. “You may be a  _ total ass _ half the time,” Bellamy squeezed her hand. His eyes were boring into hers. “but, Clarke, we-  _ I  _ need you.”

She could tell that the admission sincere; she could feel it from the weight or his gaze and the pressure of his hand, she could hear it in the fluctuation of his voice, she could see in the worried crease between his eyes and in the bags underneath them. She can also see how hard it is for him to say it: to admit that he needs her, that he needs someone other than his sister, to admit that he cares. 

“I can’t do this without you.” Bellamy used his other hand to brush the hair out of her face. “And I know you don’t want me hovering over you, so promise me you’ll take better care of yourself too.”

Clarke pursed her lips, but she couldn’t find the words, so she just squeezed his hand back.

His smile is larger than she could have imagined.

“You still need rest, so don’t move, okay?” He stood up, but has yet let go of her hand yet. “I’m going to get you something to eat.”

But his fingers did start to slide out of her’s, and she can’t help herself from grabbing onto them.

“Bellamy-” Clarke swallowed. He’s looking at her expectantly, his gaze flickering down to their hands. “Thanks- thanks for looking out for me.”

Bellamy blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Anytime, princess.” He was deflecting she new, embarrassed when he really didn’t need to be. “Remember - don’t move.”

Their hands slid out from one another, fingertips brushing at the ends. She doesn’t take her eyes off him as he left.

“You’re going to be in so much trouble when I get back if…” Bellamy called over his shoulder, his voice drifting out as he exited the dropship. 

She flexed the hand that he had just been holding, and it sent a warm rush up her arm. Clarke couldn't help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	39. hey! i was gonna eat that!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Season 2 AU

Clarke's blood was boiling.

_"Belomi kom Skaikru."_

_Clarke froze where she stood when she heard his name. She was coming back from the armony when she heard the voices, coming from the other side of the cabin that she was walking passed. Curious, Clarke crept around to sneak a peak at whoever was talking._

_"That's the one I want." It was Echo who was speaking; Clarke recognized her from when the trading envoy had arrived. She had been in the Mountain with Bellamy. She said something that Clarke couldn't translate, along with some hand gestures that made her companions jostle with laughter but that Clarke doesn't understand._

_Then Echo said: "You should see him with his shirt off." And Clarke suddenly understood their meaning._

Clarke hadn't known at first why it was bothering her at first. But everytime Echo came near Bellamy, Clarke's hands would clench into fists and she'd snap at anything in her way.

Right now, she spotted Echo leaning against the wall, watching Bellamy as he sat at one of the picnic tables eating breakfast with Miller. She had this hungry look on her face, but she knew she wasn't thinking about the food.

And Clarke couldn't take it anymore. She doesn't even realize that she's marching over where he's sitting until she's right over them and snatching his apple from his hand.

 "Hey!" He looks up at her in confusion - in stupid, cute confusion. "I was gonna eat tha-!"

But Clakre cuts him off as she grabs his face and slams her mouth down onto his, kissing him fiercly. 

She hadn't really thought any of this through - and she's about to pull away when his hand snakes up to weave itself in the hair at the back of her neck. He's kissing her back just as roughly and it's sending Clarke's head spinning. She doesn't even reigster that Bellamy's standing up now until he finally pulls back and he's looking down at her. His eyes are wide, a curious glint flickering in them. His hands are smoothing circles on her cheeks, his hot breath fanning her face. 

"It's about damn time." Clarke turns to see Miller smirking at them as he grabs his food and leaves them. Past him, she can see Echo fuming.

"What..." Bellamy's breathless, unable to take his eyes off her, "Clarke..."

She tugs on the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. "You're mine." The admission is rooted deep within her. It had always been leading up to this: leaders, partners, friends, more. She can't stand the idea of him with someone else, and she can't picture herself with anyone else. 

Bellamy licks his lips. "Yeah, yeah I am," his voice is barely above a whisper, still bewildered, "Always."

"And I'm yours." 

She can feel Bellamy's smile as he leans down to kiss her again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	40. have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Day Trip, on the walk to the bunker

“Spacewalker giving you any trouble?” Bellamy asks as soon as they are outside the gate.

“Woah there,” Clarke picks up her pace so that she’s past him. She doesn’t want to think about Finn right now. “Better keep your voice down, or people might think that you actually  _ care _ .”

She can here Bellamy snort behind her. “Only thing I care about is seeing Spacewalker succumb to gravity again.”

Clarke knows exactly what he’s talking about: Finn had been trying to get her attention from atop the wall a while back, and, well. He had basically belly flopped into a puddle of mud. She shouldn’t have laughed, but she couldn’t help it in that moment.

“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?” Clarke looks up to see Bellamy walking backwards next her, a full grin on his face.

Clarke rolls her eyes, suppresses the small smile that had sneaked up on her face. “Have I entered an alternate universe or-”

But Clarke doesn’t get to finish that thought, because Bellamy trips over a large tree root, his arms flailing wildly as he falls backwards onto his ass.

Clarke can’t help this either - she bursts out laughing. She covers her mouth with the back of one hand, the only placed firmly on her knee for balance.

“What was that you said about gravity again?” Clarke gets out between laughs.

Bellamy’s glaring up at her, one hand rubbing the small of his back. “Oh, go float yourself.”

Clarke manages to come herself down, but she does have to wipe a tear from her eye. “Come on, we still got like, five miles to go.” She sticks out her hand to help him up.

It’s only when she smirks does she realizes her mistake. But it’s too late to pull her hand back - Bellamy’s already got a grip on it and the next thing she knows is that she’s being yanked to the ground.

But he doesn’t realize his own strength - or maybe this was his plan, but either way, it backfires - because she lands on top of him, her knee colliding with his groin.

“You asshole.” Bellamy’s voice is strained through his grimace.

Clarke pushes her arms up on either side of his head. “This is your fault, you know?”

His face is still pained, but he still manages to give her a small smirk. “Are you going to get off me or do you have something else in mind?”

When Clarke gets up off him, she makes she her knee makes rough contact with his crotch again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get another one up tonight before the episode! the episode that doesn't even have my fav in it like what :) the :) fuck :)
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	41. you did all of this for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Canon AU, no spoilers

When Bellamy first noticed the tic, he thought she was just nervous: after all, it was the first embassy from Polis since that whole mess was over.

She’s wringing her hands, flexing them and picking at the skin around her nails. He had took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, but the smile she gave him didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He noticed her fidgeting hands with more and more frequency, and then he realized what she was doing.

Clarke was tracing patterns with her fingers on her thighs, on the cool metal tables in medical, through the condensation on her cup at the bar. Her thumb would even rub circles into the back of his hand when he held it.

She was itching to draw again. She wouldn't admit it - she'd never draw attention to a problem she didn't think was life threatening - but he knew. He knew her.

With Mount Weather gone, their supplies had been limited. Any paper or writing instruments were for official use only out of necessity. But now, trade routes were open.

“I need you to come with me.” Bellamy said, placing a hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

She looked up at him, a bit confused and worried. She bid the Grounder she was speaking to a farewell and followed him.

“This isn’t - you don’t have anything to worry about.” Bellamy said, slipping his hand into hers. 

She looked down at their hands, then back at him, “You _ say _ that, but…”

Bellamy laughed and pulled her along. 

“Wait here,” Bellamy said once they were in his quarters, giving her hand one more squeeze before going to get the surprise. 

He gives a small chuckle when he turns back to her, “I didn’t ask you to close your eyes.

Clarke hummed. “It seemed appropriate.”

“Well,” Bellamy placed the object in her hands, “you can open your eyes now.”

Clarke doesn’t right away, instead letting her hands ghost over the object in her hands, feeling it out. Her fingers brushed along the edges of the pages, and then she opened her eyes.

"Bellamy..." Clarke sounded like she can't believe what she's holding. 

"I got the paper from the last trading mission," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "The covers rabbit skin from the last hunting trip, and I sewed it together with some wire that Raven didn't need."

Clarke's fingers outline the little bits of charchol he tied to it, the tips of her fingers coming up black. Her voice is small and delicate when she speaks: "You did all of this for me?"

"Yeah," Bellamy breathed out, "Clarke, I-"

He doesn't get to finish that thought, because she's surging up to kiss him. Her lips are tentative against his, hesitant, and just as quickly they are gone and she's blushing furiously before him.

Bellamy licked his lips. "You could have just said thank you."

Clarke's eyes flash dangerously, and she's opening her mouth to retort when he leans down to kiss her, with much more certainty. This isn't anything like their casual touches - the hand holding, the arms around shoulders. This isn't simply thanking each other.

"I love it," Clarke said when they finally came up for air. Somehow they've stumbled back so that they are lying back on his bed, the sketchbook crushed awkardly between them. She bit her lip, considering. He can see the gears turning in her head. Clarke let out a small breath. "And you."

Bellamy kissed her cheek, and then her jaw, and down her neck, to her collarbone. He pulled her hands up between them, and kissed them firmly, not caring that there were probably black smudges all over his face.

He hadn't expected this reaction from her - but then again, Clarke had a habit of surprising him.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	42. i swear it was an accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future Fic + Accidental Marriage

Bellamy knows a few words in Trigedasleng, but not enough to really hold a conversation. Especially since Tomac is speaking very excitedly and rapidly - Bellamy can barely make out what he’s saying let alone keep up.

This is their first diplomatic trip to the Delphi clan, and Tomac - a kid, no more than fourteen, probably - is the one assigned to show Bellamy around and help him out. Right now at breakfast Tomac won’t stop talking, and Bellamy just smiles and nods at whenever Tomac makes eye contact with him.

The boy smiles brightly at him and points to Clarke, who is speaking with the clan leader across the village square. He catches the fluctuation in the boy’s voice, like he’s asking a question.

“Yeah.” The kid’s smiling, so that has to be a good thing, right? “Clarke.”

The boy’s smile gets bigger, and he’s practically jumping up and down in his seat repeating some word over and over again. Bellamy just gives him a big smile and takes another bite of his food.

* * *

 

Later that day, Tomac hands him this big blue flower and points again to Clarke. Bellamy gives him this confused look, but he keeps jabbing his finger in Clarke’s direction, so.

“I think he wants me to give you this?” Bellamy holds the flower up to her. Tomac is giving him two thumbs up over Clarke’s shoulder; some customs don’t die, then.

Clarke leans towards him to smell the flower. “It’s nice.”

Bellamy takes the flower and slips the flower through the tie of her ponytail. “Well, there you go.”

Clarke chuckles softly before heading off, and Tomac is on him in a second. For a kid, he’s got a pretty strong grip.

* * *

“Is there some kind of festival going on?” Bellamy asks Tomac. The kid understands English way better than Bellamy understands Trigedasleng.

Bellamy hadn’t noticed before, but the village is hanging decorations and lighting fires left and right. Large flowers are littering the square.

Tomac just laughs and drags him along.

* * *

There is definitely some kind of festival going on, probably some friendship thing because Clarke and Bellamy are at the center of it. They are covered in garlands forced into the center of the circle as some of the leaders dance around them. They try to teach them the dance, and they sort of get it but, really. They are both terrible at it.

After the dance, they are wrapped in a large animal skin, and yanked tightly enough that their bodies are pressed together.

“Why didn’t we bring Lincoln again?” Bellamy asks over the chanting that surrounds them.

Clarke makes an attempt at a shrug. “Because we grew cocky with old age.”

Bellamy snorts at that; Clarke’s barely even twenty, he’s barely twenty-five, but, yeah, it feels like a lifetime.

They’re pulled apart before they know it, cheering engulfing them. He assumes this means that their alliance and/or trade agreement is in place now, and that ceremony wasn’t too bad, to be honest.

He doesn’t see Clarke again till later - having been swept away by different parts of the crowd - when she’s charging towards him with one of the village elders, Phila, behind her.

Phila who, thankfully, speaks fluent English.

“I wanted to extend my congratulations to you as well, Belomi kom Skaikru.” Phila gives him a small bow. “And my thanks. The first wedding of year is always the biggest. It seems fitting that you two should have the hour, a sign of friendship between our two peoples.” She gives them a smile before walking off.

He stares blankly at where she has walked off. “What.”

Clarke tightens her grip on his wrist. “So, yeah. Apparently that whole thing was our wedding.”

Bellamy turns to Clarke and blinks at her. “How.”

Clarke narrows her eyes at him, “Apparently,” her voice is scolding, “you proposed to me with that flower earlier.”

His eyes dart up to the flower, still secure in her hair.

_Tomac._

“I swear it was an accident.” Bellamy blurts out. He was torn between wanting to kill Tomac and wanting to kiss him. Because it was always in the back of his mind that he wanted to marry Clarke - he was in love with her, but he had never told her that. And now he’s grounder-married to her? “I mean - it’s not like this is our people’s thing or anything? So we aren’t really married, you know.”

Clarke’s eyes widen, her grip loosening on his wrist; her whole body language changes to be on the defensive. “Do you not want to be married?”

“What.” Bellamy has had enough time processing shit today, but she just blew the last remaining fuse in him.

“You said we aren’t _really_ -”

Bellamy shakes his head. Was he high on jobi nuts again? That was a real possibility. “Clarke, do you want to be married?”

“What- I don’t know,” Clarke stutters, _“Yes.”_

What. What what _what_. “Clarke-?”

“I’m in love with you!” She shouts, her voice full of conviction and her confession sounding more like a challenge.

Bellamy feels heat rise up to his face; he's up for that challenge. “Yeah, well, I’m in love with you too!”

“Good!”

“So, we’re still married.”

“Damn right we are.”

They freeze, staring at each other - practically glaring, like they are daring the other to say something else - and then suddenly in unison they burst into laughter.

“We’re doing all of this backwards, aren’t we?” He felt giddy and warm and fuzzy because her admission “I’m in love with you” was still playing on a loop in his head. He was bouncing slightly on his feet, unable to contain his energy.

Clarke is fucking beaming at him. “Gosh, will we ever do anything right?”

They lean in at the same time, their mouths colliding. The kiss - their first kiss - is equal parts tender and heated. Because she loved him and they were married and just. Wow. He didn’t care that by normal standards they were moving too fast or whatever. He’s waited so long for Clarke Griffin.

“I really, really need to thank Tomac,” Bellamy says when he come up from air.

Clarke’s laugh is light and breathy and it sends a pleasant shiver over his body. “How long do you think this would have taken us if it wasn’t for him?”

Bellamy shakes his head, “We’re a fucking disaster.”

“This marriage is off to a great start.” Clarke laughs, but then she’s looking up at him through her lashes, her leg stroking his, “I can think of a few ways to make it even better.”

Bellamy can’t help but let out a growl before kissing her fiercely, his hands squeezing into her hips.

Yeah, he was going to make Tomac a fucking _king._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	43. you did what?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy goofed. Clarke's angry.

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“Clarke, just listen…” Bellamy held his hands out in defense. She was fuming, and he understood that, but. “That little detail is pretty irrelevant, honestly.”

“Little detail-? _Irrelevant?!_ ” Clarke rubbed a hand over her face, “You jumped off a _cliff_! Your leg is _broken_ \- _how_ are those things not connected.”

“Well,” Bellamy said sheepishly, “I broke my leg falling down a hill, which was  _ after _ ...”

_ “Bellamy-” _

“This was a complete accident!” Bellamy pointed to his leg, the bone still sticking up at a weird angle. It was starting to freak him out a little bit, like the bone was staring at him. Whatever these painkillers were that they gave him were starting to mess with his head. “Miller, back me up here!”

Miller held up his hands. “I am not getting involved.” He turned to Clarke then, “If you got him, I’m going to go…”

“Oh, I’ve got him,” she snapped, then softer, “thanks Miller.”

As soon as Miller was gone, she turned back to him to glare.

“Oh, you love me.” Bellamy couldn’t stop himself from grinning despite the fear he felt - those painkillers were _really_ starting to kick in.

Clarke rolled her eyes, and Bellamy didn’t know if his mind was playing tricks on him or not, but he could have sworn that he saw her blushing. 

She stroked some of the hair off his forehead. “Go the fuck to sleep, Bellamy.”

Bellamy scoffed and reached out to her, but his arm felt like a limp noodle, his whole body like he was underwater. Why was it getting darker? “I don’t take orders from…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	44. if you die, i'm going to kill you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Canon, no spoilers (370 words)  
> (in which michelle is on a roll, and also has an obvious thing for sickfics)

“For a doctor, you’re terrible at this,” Bellamy teases, tucking the covers around her. 

Winter had hit them hard this year, sending a flu through the camp. Clarke hadn’t caught it at first, but she had been working herself ragged in the med bay this whole time. And when she did catch it, she ignored it until she couldn’t anymore - when she physically collapsed while sterilizing syringes.

“I’m fine.” Clarke moans. She’s definitely not fine.

Clarke’s skin is clammy; she’s hot to the touch and glistening with sweat. She can’t even keep her eyes wide open all the way, and her voice is muffled from her stuffed up nose. Her small, red rimmed, snot filled nose that Bellamy can’t help but think is cute. 

“You will be, if you just stay here and get some rest.” Bellamy presses a damp cloth to her forehead, “If you had taken a break sooner, you wouldn’t be this bad.”

Clarke makes an indignant noise, and jerks forward to sit up with whatever remaining strength she has left.

“Jesus- Clarke,” Bellamy grabs her by the shoulder and her head lolls around, “If you die, I’m going to kill you.”

“I’m not going to  _ die _ , Bell-”

“We’ve already lost three people to this, and I’m  _ not _ losing you too. So yeah, you’re not going to die, because you’re going to stay here, lie down, and let me take care of you -  _ understand _ ?”

Clarke’s eyes are as wide, and she gives him a stunned nod.

“Good,” Bellamy relaxes a little bit, his face flushing. “I’m- I’m going to go get you some soup. Don’t you dare move.”

Clarke flops down back onto the bed, groaning: “You’re smothering me.”

“Get used to it.” Bellamy snorts, “Seriously though, try to get some rest.”

He leans to press a quick kiss to Clarke’s forehead. Her face crinkles up but he sees a hint of a smile in there. “Don’t do that you’ll get yourself sick.”

“So, you admit you’re sick then?”

Clarke punches him in the arm, but she’s too tired so it’s more like a tap, “I hate you. Go get me soup.”

Bellamy chuckles softly before standing up, “Love you too, even when you’re cranky like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	45. tell me a secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Canon (650 words)

It’s one of those nights, when the heat is unbearable, a thickness in the air to be trudged through. They can’t take their hotbox of their room, so they retreated to the cool metal roof of the Ark.

Bellamy lies on his stomach, his shirt discarded, his cheek pressed against the cold beneath him. Clarke lies next to him, looking up on at the stars. She hasn’t taken off her shirt, but rucked it up to expose her stomach. The back of her hand strokes his shoulder blade, mirroring the patterns in the stars in the sky with the ones with the freckles on his back.

“Tell me a secret.” Her voice softly says over the chirping of crickets.

Bellamy opens one eye to look at her. He can count the sweat droplets on her cheek.

“You know all my secrets.” Bellamy says. And it’s true: they have bared their souls to each other. And Clarke knew that, too.

“There’s gotta be  _ something _ .” Clarke sounds almost wistful, here in the dead of night.

He looks up and out of the corner of his eye to follow her line of sight - up to the stars. And he knows exactly what she’s thinking about. 

The one part of their lives the other hasn’t touched.

He could tell her about how Octavia wasn’t the first person to live under the floor, but that he had occupied that space whenever his mother… had a visitor above. He could tell her the name of every guard that came to his mother’s quarters. He could tell her about the time that Pike had saved him from getting thrown in lock up, had vouched for him when he had tried to sneak something away to give to his sister. 

But instead, he tells her, “the guard cadets used to play strip poker. I had never played before, and I think you can see where…”

Clarke let out a small laugh that sent a warm, pleasant feeling through him.

“Your turn.”

Clarke bites her lip, and her hand stills on his back. “I saw you on the Ark once.”

Both of Bellamy’s eyes come open then, and he pushes himself up on his elbows to get a better look at her. “What?”

Clarke gives a shrug, “I just remember passing Shumway in the hall one day, and he was just flat out screaming at a cadet with too much hair gel.”

Bellamy knows exactly what she’s referring to - it had been during his first month as a cadet, he had tripped, knocked rifles everywhere. It took him hours to pick up all the bullets.

“That could have been anyone,” he says, but by his tone she’ll know she’s right.

“I thought I recognized you when I first saw you, back on the dropship,” she says, “but I couldn’t place where. It just came back to me yesterday, when Kane was yelling at you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Bellamy grumbles, lowering himself back against the cool metal. Bellamy had egged Kane on, so he deserved it, but still.

They are quiet for long while, just listening to the sounds of each other breathing, but then Clarke speaks.

“Do you think we’d be friends if we had met on the Ark?”

Bellamy takes a deep breath. “Not a chance.”

Clarke hums in agreement. They had been from different worlds with nothing to tie them together.

“I’m glad we came to the ground then - I’m glad I met you, Bell.”

Down here, they were something forged in fire and in blood and in sacrifice. They had been melded together. They have both lost too much, but they had found one another in the process.

Bellamy scoots closer and weaves an arm across her stomach and pulls himself to her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. He couldn’t care less about the stickiness of their skin right now.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE FIN-AL COUNT-DOWN
> 
> I'm so excited to be done with this thing that I'm not really proofreading at all oops sorry about that.
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	46. hey, have you seen...? oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Canon (339 words)
> 
> this is as raunchy as i'll get and it's not even _raunchy_ okay

Bellamy mutters to himself as he tears the room apart. He's leaving on a two week long trading mission to the Delphi Clan later that day, and he really doesn’t want to go, so of course he didn’t start packing until the last possible moment.

Behind him, he hears the sound of the bathroom door opening.

“Hey, have you seen…?” He turns to face Clarke, and his jaw goes slack. “Oh.”

She’s wearing his spare shirt, the one that he’s been tearing up their quarters looking for. 

And that’s the _only_ thing she’s wearing.

Clarke cocks an eyebrow at him, and he almost misses it because his eyes keep darting lower. 

Bellamy swallows. He's trying to steel himself; it doesn’t work. “I’m going to need that back.”

Clarke steps towards him, and as soon as she’s within reach, his hands are on her. His calloused hands pressing firmly into the soft flesh of her hips, playing with the hem of the shirt she’s wearing. _His_ shirt.

“I’m going to need that back.” His voice catches in his throat.

This was why he doesn’t want to go - because she wasn’t coming too. Two weeks without Clarke? They’ve survived it before, but that doesn’t mean he wants to do that again.

Clarke set’s her hand a top of his, and guides his lower, and lower…

Her breath catches when she gets him right where she wants him. Bellamy’s heart is already beating out of his chest, heat pulsing through him.

Clarke’s looking at him through her lashes. “Take it off me then.”

Bellamy lets out a deep growl. He doesn’t need to be told twice.

He backs her up against the wall, his lips coming down to slide over hers. He's going to miss this; he's going to miss _her_. It's going to drive him crazy those next two weeks.

And he was going to be late - so, so late - but, fuck - that didn't matter at all. All that mattered right now was Clarke, and getting her out of his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....episode.....tomorrow....bELLAMY....!!!... *attempts to think happy thoughts*
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	47. no one needs to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> during 1x08 (462 words)

When Clarke woke up, her head was pounding, but the bed she was on was warm and firm, and she didn’t dare open her eyes to deal with the real world. Just five more minutes was all she needed.

But then a few things crept up on her: she realized that it was too quiet - even in the early morning the camp was filled with noise; and secondly, since when did she have a bed? She usually slept in one of the chairs in the dropship…

And then the bed shifts under her, and Clarke’s eyes snap open and immediately meet with a pair of wide, brown ones.

The bed she’s on top of? Not a bed, but Bellamy Blake.

So Clarke did the only logical thing: freak out.

She scurried off him -  _ Why wasn’t he wearing a shirt? Was she wearing a shirt? She was, she was still wearing her shirt  _ \- and he’s trying to talk, but her knee collides with his crotch and he’s cut off by his own groans.

“ _ What  _ is going on?” Clarke asks. She looks around, they aren’t even in camp. They are back in the bunker, barrels of guns around them. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

Bellamy is still holding onto his crotch, his face contorted in pain. Clarke feels bad, she really does, but, you know, he’ll live. She had bigger things to worry about that his dick. Like what could have happened last night with it. But she’s got all her clothes on, so that was a good sign-

“Thanks for the concern,” Bellamy grits out through his teeth. He doesn’t even try to get up - and seriously, she couldn’t have hit him  _ that _ hard. It was an accident; she definitely could have hit him harder if she had wanted to. “I think there’s something up with those nuts we ate.”

“Okay,” Clarke runs a hand through her hair, trying to even out her breathing. “Okay then. No one needs to know-”

“ _ I _ don’t even know what happened,” Bellamy props himself up on his elbows, and Clarke’s eyes dart down to the muscles on his chest, and then she sees it: a hickey right above his heart. When he quirks an eyebrow at her, she can feel her face flush. “But I have a feeling that we…”

His eyes trail to her neck, and Clarke’s hand shoots up.  _ “No.” _

But Bellamy’s laughter proves her wrong. 

“This isn’t funny!” She punches his arm.

“This is _ great, _ ” Bellamy’s grin is wide, “I just wish I could remember it.”

Clarke blushes at his implication. “Camp must be a disaster. We better get back.”

“ _ Or, _ ” Bellamy leans towards her, “we could recreate those memories _ -HEY! _ ”

She definitely hit him hard that time, and she’s not sorry at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	48. boo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Future Fic (317 words)

Clarke’s been making bandages for nearly a week straight. It’s become muscle memory at this point, something to keep her mind occupied. There hasn’t been many cases in medical, and there’s not much to do with all her friends gone on the mapping expedition. She hates feeling useless, so she-

“Boo.”

Clarke yelps and jumps, grabbing the hands that have latched themselves onto her shoulder and yanking them off, twisting them around to-

_ “Hey!” _ The person whines, and Clarke grasps, releasing him.

_ Bellamy. _

“You’re back early.” Clarke looks him over, like she’s checking to make sure that he’s real. “Is everything alright? Are the others-?”

“ _ Clarke _ , we’re- everyone’s fine,” Bellamy places his hands lightly on her shoulders, ducking down so he’s eye level with her. “The others are still out there, they’ll be fine. I took Helios and came back early. I missed my girls.” One of his hands slides down her arm and settles on her large, round stomach.

Clarke snorts. “I still maintain that it’s a boy.”

“Who knows?” Bellamy’s eyes are wide and bright. Clarke loves that, the way they get when they talk about their baby. “Maybe it’ll be both.”

“Don’t you  _ dare _ be hoping for twins,” Clarke glares at him. “I’m only prepared to handle one mini-you.”

Bellamy hums in acknowledgement and leans down to press a kiss to her stomach. Only six more weeks, most likely.

“You know, since I’m back early I don’t have any duties,” He says as he straightens up, pulling her closer, “And I’m  _ pretty _ sure you’ve made more than enough bandages…”

Clarke’s hands trail down his chest, tracing his muscles through his shirt before intertwining her fingers with his.

“I suppose I could take a break.”

Bellamy’s eyes go dark, his grin mischievous. He’s got her bridal style in his arms and one fell swoop.

“This break is going to last  _ days _ , just so you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS TODAY OKAY IM GOING TO FINISH THIS
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	49. well, this is awkward...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 2 AU, set somewhere after 1x05 and before 1x08

She’d been avoiding Finn ever since they got back to camp. She could barely look at him, barely stomach what he had done - in her name. She didn’t want him all over his with his puppy dog eyes and pout, trying to pry the forgiveness out of her - for TonDC, or for cheating, either one.

She can hear Finn looking for her, his voice echoing in the halls of the Ark behind her.

“Clarke,” Her eyes snap up in panic - but it’s Bellamy she sees, concern all over his face. “Is everything alright?”

“Clarke?” Finn calls, and he’s much, much closer this time.

She looks around, panicking- and then she sees a door up ahead. She quickly grabs Bellamy by the sleeve and drags him with her into the supply closet and shutting the door behind him.

She listens carefully for Finn’s footsteps, for his voice, as it gets louder and louder - then softer and softer as he walks away.

Then there’s just the sound of her and Bellamy’s heavy breathing, of their pounding hearts. Clarke’s got him pressed against the wall, one of his legs between her thighs. His eyes are blown wide, their gaze flickering down from her’s down to her mouth.

There’s a ringing in Clarke’s ears and it’s making it hard to think straight.

She hears a jiggle of the doorknob then - and she- she does exactly what she had been thinking about doing.

She steps up onto her toes to kiss him hard. Bellamy responds immediately, his arms coming from the wall to wrap around her. She tangles her fingers in his hair, opens her mouth for him and a small moan escapes her when his tongue slips into-

The door flies open and Bellamy and Clarke’s heads snap apart but they remain with limbs tangled.

He’s silhouetted harshly against the light of the hall, but she knows it’s Finn. She doesn’t need to see his expression to know what’s on his face though.

“Well, this is awkward…” Bellamy says, with a slight chuckle. But he makes no move to break away from her, instead his fingers squeeze her back, in what Clarke thinks is reassurance.

Finn sees it too. 

“I’ll let you get back to it then.” His voice is strained, he sounds like he feels betrayed, which is bullshit - and then he slams the door, leaving them back in darkness.

That wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be.

“So…” Clarke’s eyes go from the door, back to Bellamy. He looks a little sheepish. “Was that just because of him, or…”

Clarke’s still out of words, so she leans up to kiss him instead, her fingers tangling into his hair. By the way he responds, she knows he got the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE LEFT!!! ONE LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


	50. what now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50\. writer's preference ("What now?") (553 words)
> 
> speculative end to season 3, possible spoilers, written before 3x08

Bellamy doesn’t know the last time he experienced  _ quiet. _ There had been plenty of silence, but that had been deafening - that silence had only highlighted everything and everyone that had been missing.

But this? It was just plain, pure  _ quiet _ . The machine hum was gone; the yelling and chanting and crying had ceased, there was no more gunfire keep time with their heartbeats. The air was just full of small, soft sounds: birds chirping, ;eaves rustling in the wind, the crunch of grass beneath feet.

This doesn’t feel like a victory, they’ve lost too much to ever really win. But it feels like peace, just a moment of peace from this war they’ve been on since they’ve landed.

He can hear her approach, and when her hand slides into his, he squeezes it.

“What now?” He asks, turning his head to look at her.

Her eyes are puffy and red rimmed. He knows how hard it was for in the City of Light. He know it was hard for her to see Lexa again only to lose her again. He knows how hard it was for her to leave Jasper behind.

But that was over now; they had finished it, together. 

She gives him a small smile, and rests her head against his shoulder. “We’ve got to get them back to Arkadia.” 

Them: Monty, and Miller and Raven, and Murphy and Emori. Those of them that had come on this mission and survived.

“And then?” He tries to convey a neutral tone, but the fear does slip out. He wants to believe that she wouldn’t leave again, not without him, but there’s always this part of him that’s going to think he’s not enough for her. Even after it was him, even after it was  _ his _ voice that drew Clarke back from ALIE’s grasp, he…. 

“We get that drink.” Clarke tilts her head against him, breathing him in. “We can figure out the rest later.”

The rest:  how to rebuild Arkadia, coexistence with what’s left of the coalition, where was Octavia, how to live with themselves.

“Yeah,” Bellamy wraps his free arm around her, pulling her into his chest. “Okay.”

Clarke tilts her head up, her eyes meeting his briefly before she reaches up and presses a kiss against his jaw.

Bellamy closes his eyes. Everything falls away in this moment; in this moment he is not running or crying or worrying. He’s at peace, for once with the world around him.

He leans down, but hesitates - he has always wondered what this would feel like, and now he would know - he moves again, leaning down and presses a kiss to her forehead. Her skin is soft and cold beneath his lips; she tastes salty, like sweat. She feels unbelievable real in his arms. Her small sigh of content is everything.

They were hundreds of miles away from the closest thing to home that they knew. They had a long way to go, they still had people that they were responsible for, that they have to look out for. They still have open wounds, red and raw and aching.

But they were healing. They were finally in a place, in a state of mind and heart, to be able to start healing.

They were together, and they had no intention of changing that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M DONE!!!! WOW!!! I started this way back at the end of July, and nearly eight months later ~~oops~~ I am finally done. Thank you guys so much for sticking with this and leaving kudos and all those wonderful comments!! I don't respond to them all because I can Barely Function™ but they I love and appreiacte them and they always bring a big smile to my face. :D
> 
> The title of this collection is from [Pictures of You by The Last Goodnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7QWZBiNTMc):
> 
> _Confess to me, every secret moment_  
>  _Every stolen promise you believed_  
>  _Confess to me, all that lies between us_  
>  ** _All that lies between you and me_**  
> 
> 
> Thank you all again!! This has been a lot of fun, I may do another collection after I finish up some prompts that I got, which are still open on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com) by the way. Now it's time for me to freak out about the new episode tonight oh my god I'm not ready. 

**Author's Note:**

> prompts are from [this list](http://alwaysbellamyblake.tumblr.com/post/111909165950/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)
> 
> come hang out over on [tumblr](http://bellakeyblake.tumblr.com)!


End file.
